Page 58 of The Dallas Dilemma

Sure, the thought of making Dallas happy should make me ecstatic, but it only makes me feel terrible. I’mlying to him, at worst, and keeping secrets, at best. No matter which way you look at it, his happiness with me isn’t real. It’s based only on the parts of me I show him.

“You should just tell him, Joey. The longer you keep this secret, the more anxious you’ll get. You’re going to end up blurting out the truth just to make yourself feel better, and then you’ll have to explain how you figured it out and admit how long you’ve been keeping it a secret. Better to just get it all out in the open now, when it’s only been a few days instead of waiting and having to admit you’ve known for weeks or months, right?”

“I know you’re right,” I say on a long sigh, “but knowing what’s right doesn’t make doing it any easier.”

“I think you’re overanalyzing this whole thing,” she says. “You found out he’syouronline nemesis, and it didn’t make you want to end things with him. Don’t you think there’s a good chance he’d react the same?”

“I know you’re right,” I repeat, this time a lot more sullenly.

“Of course, I am. I’m a genius.”

“Okay, genius,” I say, more than ready for a subject change. “How are things going with Emerson?”

“Ugh,” she groans, frowning. “He’s started tacking my videos and acting like we’re besties. As if that’s not annoying enough, the videos are getting more views and likes than my originals.”

“Tacking is that thing where you react to a video and it shows them side-by-side, right?” I ask.

I have the BingBang app, but I only really use it to watch, like, and comment on Twila’s videos. I preferCackle because I can contribute without showing my face or using my voice. It’s more anonymous.

Which is what got me into this mess in the first place, isn’t it? The anonymity of it all?

“Yeah,” she says, answering my question with a pained nod.

“So, why don’t you tack his videos, too?” I ask.

“Because I don’t think I can successfully pretend I like what he’s doing. My face would reveal how much I don’t like him, and his fans will turn on me. I’m not looking to get doxxed.”

“You’re a better actress than you think,” I say, giving her a real smile. “You made it seem like you loved those vegan cheese puffs you were pushing last month.”

“I only did that because they’d already paid me an advance. You know I don’t usually push products I don’t really like.”

“I know,” I say, offering her a gentle smile.

“Besides, this isn’t the same thing. I’ll never meet that asswipe in real life. You, on the other hand, are having sexual relations with yours, so you need to figure this out.”

“Oh, my God. Please never say ‘sexual relations’ again.”

“Knocking boots?”

“Uh, no.”

“Bumping uglies? Hiding the sausage? Boning? Porking?”

“Stop,” I say with a chuckle.

It feels good to laugh. Some of my stress pours out ofme with the sound, and I end up smiling at Twila. She shakes her head to make her curls bounce and grins back at me.

“You’re welcome.” Her smile drops and her expression turns serious. “If you don’t talk to him about this soon, you’re going to drive yourself crazy. Then, you’ll end up doing something you don’t want to do, like cutting things off with him because you’d rather hide your head in the sand than have a difficult conversation.”

“Ouch,” I say, flinching before my shoulders sag. “But valid.”

“I love you, and if Dallas has a single working brain cell, he does, too.”

“He doesn’tloveme,” I say, but she continues talking like I didn’t speak.

“He’ll probably be surprised at the coincidence, then laugh it off. It’ll be a funny story you tell your grandkids one day.”

She’s doubling down on the ridiculousness because she knows I need it right now. But what she doesn’t know, what I haven’t admitted to anyone, is that I’m really falling for Dallas. That I think I do love him, and the possibility of losing him fills me with dread.

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