Page 137 of Deacon

He laughs. “Goodnight, Mr. Ryder. We’ll be in touch.”

He hangs up, and I stand over the sink, holding my phone. Before my eyes, through the window, the snow swirls in slow circles.

I thought I was different. I saw her at the café and I thought I could be a different man. I practiced it so hard, even I believed it for a little while. But the minute she told me about that man and how he made her feel, the old Deacon came back with vengeance.

I’m still the same person who put a spike into a man’s temple and took his land.

I return to bed. She’s on her back, all soft skin and fern-green silk. I lay down and tug the blanket. Her breasts rise and fall. A quiver goes through her belly as she sighs.

I spread my hand and lay it on her belly, between her hipbones. Hearing what that man did to her made my vision flash red.

She’s so desperate to be loved. I see how she reaches out blindly, longing for something she never got growing up. I think it’s the reason she fell into Braxton Whitaker’s arms, why she fell into mine so easily.

All she ever wanted was to be loved gently. Instead, the men who should have been gentle left her heart bruised. That’s why I don’t feel bad about hiring Brothers to pop a bullet into Braxton.

He deserves it.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

FREYA

I can barely drag myself out of bed the next day. My body feels heavy, my head full of static. It takes a second for my eyes to focus. Then, I see it—miles and miles of snow, so bright that I squint as I force myself to leave the warm nest I’ve made of pillows and quilts.

Deacon is gone, probably already clearing pathways to the animals. I stretch and my hips pop. That doesn’t surprise me—with the amount of sex I’m having, I’d be surprised if they didn’t.

He comes in while I’m frying eggs in the kitchen. I hear him stomp his boots on the porch and hang up his coat. Then, he’s in the doorway, arms crossed over his charcoal Henley, watching me, his dark eyes soft in the harshness of his face.

He doesn’t speak. I turn off the stove and fill the plates. When I turn, he’s still watching me.

“What?” I whisper.

He shakes his head, a little smile on his mouth. It strikes me how strange it is that a man staring at me while I cook suddenly isn’t something to be afraid of. Instead, it gives me butterflies.

We eat together, and he kisses me before he goes. It’s casual, like he knows I’ll be there when he gets back.

I stand at the sink and watch him go into the barn and come out a moment later on Silver Phantom. She’s stunning in the snow. Watching her prance makes me wish I was out there with him.

I think about that for a while. When he comes in for lunch, I bring it up.

“You want to come with me?” His brows are raised.

I nod. “Unless I’m in the way.”

He shakes his head. “I’m going to do some work in the horse barn. You can come along, sweetheart.”

I’ve never been included in anything before, not anything important. It has me smiling as I gather up my clothes. He put the chastity belt on me in my sleep but not the strap that covers my pussy. It takes me a minute to work my jeans over it, but once they’re on, I can barely feel the delicate metal.

I reach into the closet for my coat and pause. There’s a crack where the molding wasn’t installed. I rest my temple on the wall. From this vantage point, I can see right into the bathroom where the copper tub sits.

I frown.

It’s probably nothing. I shake my head, pulling on my coat and leaving. At the end of the day, if he used that to look at me, it’s not any worse than anything else he’s done. In fact, it’s pretty low on the list compared to dropping from a tree, kicking in Aiden’s windshield, and kidnapping me.

I’m at a point now where I don’t care anymore.

He’s standing on the porch when I come out. Silently, I follow him to the barn, where he has Bones and Silver Phantom saddled up. I clamber up on the mounting block and get on. I’ve ridden a little, enough to take Bones back to Aiden’s house that morning, but I’m no expert.

I can’t ride the way Deacon does. He moves with his horse like water, his center of balance firmly rooted. The reins stay slack and I don’t see him shift his feet. All he does is click his tongue, and Bones heads out of the barn. Silver Phantom goes on her own, following them out into the snow.

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