Page 129 of Deacon

“I’m trying to show you I’m not,” he says.

My lashes are wet. A tear etches out. I cry so easily nowadays.

“I know you’re not,” I whisper, touching my temple. My fingers graze down over my chest. “I know that now.”

The wind picks up. I glance over my shoulder at the snow swirling. He leans in, breath spilling hot as he kisses the side of my neck. I’m back, out of the cold in my mind, in his arms with the fire warm against my skin.

“The horses are hungry,” he says. “Fuck me one more time, sweetheart. I’ll make it quick.”

Just like that, the door is shut. We both said our piece and neither of us walked away. Instead, I slip between the sheets with him and we work our pain out without saying a word.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

DEACON

I start setting out her things right away. I enjoy the caretaking aspect of being in a Dominant and submissive dynamic more than masochism, although I wouldn’t turn down putting her over my knee and spanking that beautiful ass. But outside of that, I’m grounded by giving her what she needs, even when she doesn’t understand.

It’s my job to know her heart. To keep it, to protect it.

My life has been so chaotic. I find so much peace in this exchange of power and care. It’s the same with bondage. It feels like the eye of the hurricane—a place to rest, to breathe, to feel together.

I set her clothes on the chair by the fireplace. Then, I write a note for her and set it on the sink. She’s still asleep when I leave the bathroom and step into the hallway, shutting the door behind me. Downstairs, I can hear Stu whimpering in his bed in the living room.

I take him outside with me, letting him stumble through the grass as I walk toward the barn. Inside, Bones is already awake and trying to get out of his stall. I feed him and turn him out into the paddock where he can get back inside if he gets too cold.

Then, I take Silver Phantom out because she’s throwing her head and prancing. The ranch is quiet as I ride. I’m quiet too.

I think we’ve made a breakthrough in the last few days. The dynamic has shifted. Freya finally feels safe enough to let me take care of her. I found the key to her heart in that room in the attic. Now, everything has changed.

But we still have a long way to go yet.

After I get back to the barn and put Silver Phantom away, I head inside. The smell of coffee and something frying hits my nose, and my stomach rumbles. I kick off my boots and hang my hat and coat up, heading down the hall.

She’s laying plates on the table. She’s wearing exactly what I left out for her, but it fits her even better than in my imagination. That round ass looks so good in the short skirt that, suddenly, I’m across the room, bringing my palm down on it to watch it shake.

She whirls, eyes big. I bend and kiss her neck.

“Fuck, you look good,” I murmur. “You smell good too.”

She does, all warm vanilla and home. Mindlessly, I nuzzle her neck and inhale. My hips ride up on her ass, making her gasp.

“Deacon, it’s breakfast time,” she whispers.

“I know. I’m hungry.” The firm curve of her ass feels so good against my dick, I can’t stop.

She wriggles in my grip, turning to face me. “The food will get cold.”

I kiss her until she’s breathless. Then, she pushes me into my chair and fills the plates like her face isn’t glowing pink. We eat in silence for a minute. As usual, her cooking is the best thing I’ve ever tasted, second only to her pussy.

“Did you read the note I left?” I ask.

She goes perfectly still. Her eyes swivel.

“I read it,” she says.

“And?”

She sets her fork down primly. “I don’t do that, really.”

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