Page 21 of Undercover Desires

“Like two-day-old dog shit. I gave the chick a job, and it turns out she’s an undercover cop hired to spy on us.”

She stifles a laugh, and I turn my head to glare at her. I wasn’t cracking a joke.

“Are you laughing at my pain?” I question Maeve, my lips curving into a wry smile.

She hesitates for a moment before responding, “No. Well, kind of. I’m sorry, Kobe, but this could only happen to you.” She lets out a full laugh now.

“That doesn’t sound like something a psychologist should say,” I remark.

“It’s probably not,” she concedes, still chuckling, “But I’ve known you long enough to know this is a little comical.”

I swing my legs around to sit up and lean forward, my gaze intense as I fixate on her. “It’s not at all,” I say, my tone heavy with concern. “This chick is working with the head detective at Palm Springs station, trying to bring us down. How would you feel if Hendrix was in the same position?” I raise a brow in question. I know I shouldn’t bring up her life in our sessions, but I need her to see this for what it is.

She nods along, as if she agrees with me. “Yeah, that part’s not ideal, but that’s not what I find funny. You finally found a girl you thought worthy of doing the right thing by her, and she was sent to screw you over.”

“Oh yeah, I see it now. Normally it’s me screwing them.” I crack up laughing. She’s right, my life is a fucking joke.

She joins in my laughter, though this time it’s more awkward. I sense her pity, and I don’t want it. To me,this girl is merely an inconvenience sent to irritate me. She needs to be monitored and kept close to ensure she won’t cause the destruction she was sent here for. I snap out of my laughter. “What now?” I ask, my tone more serious.

“Have you slept with anyone else since you met this girl?” She assesses me with her knowing eyes.

“No,” I mutter, not even disappointed. I haven’t wanted to. No one has aroused my interest. I had the young thing at The Joker offer to suck my dick yesterday, and I brushed her off. Just walked away from her and the offer of a blow job. That’s when I knew there was a problem. I never turn down something that could make my day a little more interesting.

“And how long has it been?” she asks curiously.

“Three days.” I know three days doesn’t seem like a long time, but for me, it’s a motherfucking lifetime. Leo had to take me to work with him a lot when I was growing up. I spent my fair share of time in strip clubs and bars with older guys he knew, and was having sex by the time I hit fourteen. I haven’t stopped. Why would I? I see a pretty girl, I fuck her. It’s that simple. And in my line of work, I’m surrounded by opportunities. I never need to go without.

“So, you're frustrated. You want her, but she’s out of reach because she wants to screw you over. Maybe this is a good thing to teach you some restraint?” she says like the smartass she is.

My back stiffens, and my heart pounds quickly. “Hold up. Are you saying I’m not going to want to fuck other girls, because for some fucked-up reason, I want her?”

“I didn’t say that, but if that’s what you think…”

Realization kicks in. She’s the only girl I want. I can’t stop seeing her and thinking about her because I’m desperate for her sweet little body. “Oh, you have to be kidding me. That’s what’s wrong with me, isn’t it? I’m angry because I want her, and now I know I can’t have her,” my words tumble out, laced with the frustration I’m feeling.

“Has that ever been the case before? Or do you normally get what you want?” She raises a brow, already knowing the answer to her own question.

“I always get what I want,” I reply with a trace of pride. Growing up without my parents was difficult, but my brothers made sure I was well taken care of, especially Leo, who did whatever it took to provide the life I desired. “I work hard too, but I don’t have to want for anything. As soon as I think it, I have it.”

She taps her chin. “Mmm. Must be maddening then.”

I stare back at her. “Stop screwing with my head, Maeve,” I warn.

“Just helping you work through your week,” she says, checking her timer. I know what’s coming—the question that always arises just before we run out of time. “So, are you ready to talk about your mom?”

“You know my answer.” For fifteen years, my therapists have been asking me the same question.Let’s talk about your relationship with your mom. What do you remember about her? Tell me what she looked like.Endless questions that just infuriate me more. I can’t remember any of it. Not a single thing about her or my dad. So, I give them the same answer every time: No.

“What am I supposed to do with all this frustration?” I ask her, feeling more desperate.

“Channel it into something positive. Try meditation maybe, like we talked about. It will help with your mindset. Or you could just go for a good old long shower. It’s up to you, Kobe.”

I stare back at her, lost for words, and that’s saying something for me. I can’t believe she’s just going to let me walk out into the world like this. Her advice is to go beat off in the shower. For fuck’s sake. I walk out feeling more defeated than I did when I arrived.

As I drive, I keep playing over the last few days in my head. Why am I so wound up? What is it about this girl that has me in a tailspin? She’s hot, but so fucking what? I could have a fucking lineup of hot chicks at my door at the snap of my fingers. She’s out of bounds? More likely, but I had a hard-on for her the moment I spotted her in the club, and I didn’t know she was a cop then. No, it’s something else entirely.

When I looked into her green eyes that night, I felt like I had seen those exact eyes before. They triggered a memory, a feeling of summer. It was the strangest feeling, and that’s what I can’t shake. She’s somehow familiar. It’s nostalgic, and from a guy who doesn’t remember his past, that’s why it’s so unsettling. Who the fuck is she, and why does this feeling wash over me when she’s around?

My intention was to stay at The Joker all week, keep my distance from Arabella while having Ben watch over her. But last night, after a couple of hours, I knew I couldn’t stay away from her for a day, let alone an entire week. I raced over to Queen of Hearts, just in time to see Mr. Lucas hitting on her. One of our more affluent patrons offering her a substantial sum of cash to become his next sub is a major problem. I want tobe around her more. Make sure that doesn’t happen again.

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