Page 39 of Higher Notes

“Medic! Medic!” he shouted. I grabbed Jason and hurriedly moved us out of bed. Snipe thrashed around, kicking the sheets off as he fought whatever battle his head was in. I fucking hated this and what made it worse was how upset I knew Snipe would be when it passed.

He kicked and screamed then dropped to the ground and huddled in the corner of the room.

“He’s dead! The fucking medic never came. He’s dead!

“Sikes! Sikes! Where are you?” he shouted, but I didn’t dare come near him and instead replied from the opposite side of the room.

“I’m here, Snipe, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“I-I,” Snipe shook his head and trembled. “Sikes,” he whispered as the tears hit. “Is Jason okay?”

“I am, I’m right here with Snipe.” Sikes’ tears triggered Jason’s. “Can we go to him? I need to hold him.”

“Yeah, now’s good.”

Jason was across the room before I was.

“I’m so broken,” Snipe frantically cried. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m fine. A better question is are you?” When Snipe wouldn’t answer him, Jason forcibly cupped his jaws and turned his head upward. “Are. You. All. Right?”

“No. I’m broken. Just… Just…” More tears fell. “Just leave me.”

“That’s enough!” Jason hollered and we both flinched. “I love you, flaws and all. You think I don’t have any? Well, look again because I do.” I knelt beside them on the floor and wrapped my arms around them. “Sikes and I love you and I’ll be damned if any one of us is leaving.”

We rocked from side to side, the three of us as Snipe caught his breath and regained his bearings. When the sobs subsided and his breaths evened out, I moved us back to bed with Snipe tucked between Jason and I. Tonight was about healing, or at least trying to soothe Snipe’s weary soul. It was inevitable that Jason would be exposed to this side of us, and he handled the situation perfectly. But what exactly was triggering Snipe?

As soon as the pharmacy opened the next morning, I was there. They hadn’t yet filled his new prescription, so I waited while they did. Jason and Snipe were home giving the place a final clean. Snipe had been quiet this morning, more so than usual and I hoped it was only due to embarrassment, and he’d soon work past that.

Along the way back I stopped and picked up breakfast and left a message with our therapist’s receptionist that I’d picked up the new Rx but that there was another episode last night. When Igot back the movers had arrived and were already loading the furniture.

“Mmm, coffee. Nectar of the gods.” Jason drew in a big whiff of his cup. “Thank you so much.”

“You are welcome,” I snagged a kiss then handed out the sandwiches and gave Snipe his meds to take. “Dig in. We’ll be on the road in no time.”

Jason refused to throw the bed pillows away, claimed they smelled of us and he was keeping them. Two hours into the drive, he was curled up in the back seat scribbling away in his notebook with the pillows propped behind him.

“Whatcha working on, Jase?” I glanced at him in the rearview mirror, loving it when his handsome face smiled back at me.

“Easton asked us to work on some new songs to start recording at the end of the year. I have a ton I’ve started and never finished but a new one came to me this weekend that I’m almost done with.”

“Sing it to us,” Snipe requested. He’d been far too quiet but I knew his head was likely throbbing after last night. With the new dose in his system, maybe that was part of it, too.

“It’s rough and obviously there’s no music to it. Just remember, it’s a work in progress.”

“What’s it called?”

“Flaws and All.”

You say you’re broken

I say you’re perfect, at least you are in my eyes

You say to leave you behind

I’ll tell ya right now, that ain’t happening

Everyone has flaws and demons they battle

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