Page 36 of Higher Notes

“Regrets, Sikes?” I sure as fuck hoped not. We’d slapped down a sweet deposit on the house already.

“Not a single one. Just moved faster than I expected, but you’re worth it. I have zero doubts or regrets.”

I turned to face Snipe. He’d been silent since we hit the security line. “You doing all right?”

“I am not a fan of crowds.”

“Yet you guard rockstars for a living.”

“Yet I fell in love with said rockstar I now guard. Crowds aren’t easily controlled. Anything can go wrong.”

“True, but we’re in an airport with loads of security. How do you handle it at the shows?” Fuck, if this was a trigger for him he was in the wrong line of work.

“Crowds are away from you guys and usually feet below you or behind fence lines. Here, piles of humans are all over. Running…” Snipe gazed off and I wondered if mentally he was still with us.

“Remember your breathing exercises, Snipe.” Sikes crouched in front of him. “Breathe with me, babe.”

This was the first PTSD episode I’d witnessed from either of them. Honestly, the crowds at SeaTac today were nowhere near how I’d seen them before, so I was a bit surprised this triggered him.

“Jase, this can happen anywhere to either one of us. It’s important you know how to handle it. Keep breathing with me,Snipe. Focus on me and my voice.” Sikes took both Snipe’s hands in his as they worked through it, soon breathing in unison. “Are you back with us?”

Snipe nodded.

I swear time stopped as soon as this happened, and I held my breath the entire time.

“It’s been a while since this has happened to either of us. Any idea what set you off?”

“My mind just got the best of me. Thoughts scrambled. I forgot where I was for a minute. Sorry, Jase.” Snipe’s eyes teared up.

“Don’t you ever apologize to me for this.” He was drenched in sweat. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

“Yes, please,” came out as a whimper. I threw my arms around him and hugged Snipe as tight as these damn chairs would allow.

“You didn’t choose this.” Imagine if he’d been alone. Thankfully that rarely happened with the two of them but think of all those in the world who suffered from PTSD. Left alone to struggle through their episodes. Broke my fucking heart. “Hey,” I tilted his chin toward me and pressed my forehead to his. “I love you and I’m here for you however you need me to be.”

“Thank you. I love you both.”

I wondered if it would be too forward of me to meet with their therapist or attend sessions with them.

“What are you thinking?” Sikes asked.

“Would it, um, do you think I’d benefit from—and let me know if this is overstepping. But would it be beneficial for me to meet with your therapist or attend sessions when possible with you guys?”

“That’s not too forward. You’re our partner and we need to operate on the same page, or we’ll fail. It’s a great suggestion but Jason, you must be prepared to handle what we share. Our lives have not been great, and it would break us to have you think lessof us because of the abuse we were subjected to and what we had to do in order to survive.”

With each passing day l learned how Sikes became the chosen spokesperson for the duo. Snipe was far more reserved and not as open. Sikes was an assess, take control, and eliminate the threat, no-nonsense man.

Sikes pulled his phone out and stepped aside to make a call while I stayed with Snipe. The firm grip he had on my hand screamed don’t leave me. I had no intention of doing any such thing.

“I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing, but are you okay?”

“Yeah. Glad we have some time before we have to board. Takes a bit to fully come down from that.” Sikes handed him a bottle of water and wandered off again with the phone to his ear. “He’s likely calling the doc to let her know we’re moving and to, um, tell her what happened. That man has kept me right for twenty years.”

I could see that, though I kept those words to myself. Snipe had things he wanted to say, and I needed to listen.

“I never knew my family. Grew up in a series of abusive foster care homes. The kind of people who only do it for the monthly check and not for the love of children. I’ve been fighting for my life for nearly as long as I’ve been living it. Once I hit puberty and bulked up, I stood up for myself and got labeled a troublemaker. Made it hard for them to place me after that. The day I turned eighteen I enlisted. Got my ass handed to me a couple of times.” Snipe shook his head and grinned. “Deserved it. Smarted off to a couple of seasoned Marines.”

“When did you meet Sikes?”

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