Page 17 of Higher Notes

Snipe and I showered and got ready for bed then Jason did the same.

“Okay, where am I? Couch or bed with you guys?”

I adored Jason’s confidence, but this was about more than sex for us.

“Wherever you feel most comfortable but, um…” How to explain this. When I glanced up, Snipe nodded. “We both suffer from PTSD.”

“Oh shit, sorry to hear that. What do I need to know?”

In typical Jason fashion, instead of running or vying for the couch, he asked how he could help.

“Thank you for that.” I took a moment to gather my words. “If one or both of us start thrashing around, get out of the bed and out of arm’s reach. Let us work through it because in those moments we aren’t ourselves. In our minds we’re fighting past demons.”

Snipe nodded. “Sometimes, touching someone during an episode triggers them to attack you and it would kill us if we hurt you.”

“Wait, what happens when you both have them? Do you fight each other?” I was happy to see Jason took the time to build the scene in his head and asked the right questions.

“There were a couple of times in the beginning that happened, but it’s been years since then. The docs had challenges regulating our meds and when they finally got it right, the episodes came further apart. Now it’s one or the other of us it seems. Hell, I can’t remember the last time it happened to both of us. Do you, Snipe?”

“No, thank fuck. Plus, um…” Snipe had a hard time talking about this and I was glad to see him open up to Jason. “The new therapist we have has been great. Fizzbo is huge into therapy, especially with his entire crew being ex-military.”

“That’s good to know. A caring employer goes a long way and has higher employee retention.” Jason never failed to impress us.

“We’re both triggered awake if we hear the other and if that happens, when we get out of bed we will take you with us.” That much I could promise Jason. No way I’d leave him in the line of fire.

“All right, let’s recap. If it appears one of you is having an episode, I get out of bed and out of reach and wait for them to come out of it on their own?”

“Correct.” Two minds, one reply.

“How long do the episodes usually last?”

“Anywhere from a few seconds to several hours. Like we said, with the new meds they’re not as frequent as they once were and along with the exercises our therapist has been working with us on, it’s helped a lot.” I wish I had a better answer for him but unfortunately it wasn’t something we could time.

“Okay, got it. Ready for bed?” Jason’s easy response shouldn’t have shocked me as much as it did. And while I expected hesitation and more questions, I shouldn’t have. “Should I take the middle?”

The three of us slid into bed and I shut off the bedside lamp. Snipe and I turned to face Jason. “How’s this going to work when we’re on the road?”

“We usually sleep in shifts when we travel,” Snipe answered. “Did Easton say we were getting our own bus?”

“I thought he did, and I wouldn’t put it past him. As soon as each band member partners up it seems to happen that way. We’re gonna have a whole lot of buses on this tour. I’m stoked but I feel bad leaving Mom with all the kids.”

Jason took care of his family, but who took care of him?

“What are the rules with sex? Do you guys just cuddle and go to sleep, or do we lie here and pretend there aren’t three dicks to play with in the same bed?”

“Wow, sassy much?” Snipe teased him. “Rules we hadn’t really discussed but given we’re rarely apart there shouldn’t be any issues. Sikes? Anything to add?”

“What Snipe said. Besides no double dip,” Jason snickered at my comment. “Any hard limits for you, Jason?”

“Not into the whole tie me up thing. I like my arms and legs free during sex, thank you very much. But back to clarity. Am I allowed to hug or kiss either of you whenever or are there rules? Sorry, I’m not a rule breaker and I really hope what we’re working toward goes the distance. I refuse to be the one to fuck it up.” As Jason rambled on it hit me, he was nervous.

“Hey,” Snipe and I scooted closer and wrapped an arm around our Jason sandwich. “This is us. Don’t be nervous and never forget—nothing happens without any of our consent.”

“Sex I can do. It’s the relationship part that’s new and I’m, um…I’m really into you guys.”

“In case you can’t tell.” I pressed my lips to his and took my time getting acquainted with his tongue. “We’re really into you. Just remember it’s the three of us and we only need to make us happy. If we’re on the bus and I’m on duty while Snipe is in the back with you, feel free to take care of each other, though I’d like to know ‘cause if there isn’t much going on, I’d either join in or at the very least watch.”

Snipe gave him a quick kiss. “Same goes for me. Sikes and I trust each other explicitly. We were afraid we’d upset you by telling Fizzbo about us.”

---