Page 73 of Higher Notes

I’d never live this down.

“Did you guys need me for something? If not, please go away. We’re in the middle of entertaining guests.” They were stuffies, but friends just the same.

“Hey, old man, are you gonna be able to get up or do you need a crane?”

Snipe thought he was real fucking funny.

“I’ll show you what a crane is for.” I tried to get up, but my knees weren’t having it. Maybe sitting in these tiny chairs this long wasn’t a bright idea.

And cue in more laughter as the chair tumbled over and I fell on my ass.

By now, their cackles brought more bodies to the party as Dana and River pushed through the crowd.

“This is rich.” River took pictures of his own which I was sure would be included in the next company newsletter.

Yay me.

Though little miss attitude wasn’t happy with them.

Hands on hips, she brought the full diva out and scolded them. “What’s so funny?”

That shut them up.

“Little girl, when you’re older and we look back through these pictures, you’ll understand,” Dana told her, barely holding her own laughter back. “You’re likely the only person in the world who could take a nearly seven-foot wall of muscle and turn him into a tea party guest.”

“And in full drag.”

Fucking Jason. I may whip that boy’s ass later but knowing him he’d probably enjoy it.

The heathens left without stating what their purpose was in crashing our lovely afternoon, but the fire was gone in both Nicole and me. I wrapped the feather boa around her neck, kissed the top of her head and went straight to our bathroom for a shower.

What. The. Ever-loving. Fuck.

The glimpse in the mirror I could’ve done without and the clown mocking me from the other side had just as good of a time tormenting me as my family had.

I hope that sweet girl learned about make-up tutorials soon. Thank fuck the set we’d got her was all washable. Green eyeshadow, bright pink cheeks and over-glittered lips was a bit much. My eyebrows looked like giant caterpillars. The easiest things to take off were the bows in my hair.

Washable my ass.

Nearly scrubbed my skin raw to get it off.

Showered, lotion applied to my face, I drew in a deep breath in preparation for the teasing I was about to endure.

Though it wasn’t half of what just came across via text…

Fizzbo: How was the tea?

And it included a perfect shot of me. Pinky out, staring directly at the guys.

Fuck. My. Life.

Me: All good. What can I do for you?

Fizzbo: Nothing, just making sure you’re not running a fever.

Me: Healthy as a horse.

Fizzbo: Good to hear it. Please, continue with your party.

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