Page 35 of Remy

“No. I need to find her, Hodge.”

“Gunner’s been up all night in his room goin’ over leads. He didn’t want to say much to you, but there’s a house that appears to be a cousin of Brad’s not too far from where she lived,” he says. Now I’m on high alert.

“Are we hittin’ it?”

“He was gonna run that by you later this mornin’. We don’t know if Brad’s there or if that’s where they’re holdin’ Charlie. Hell, it may just be his cousin’s house, but we don’t know.” I nod my head and debate telling Tianna, but I think better of it. She doesn’t need anymore stress on her. She has enough already.

“Let me know when you’re ready,” I tell him. Hodge nods his head and goes to the kitchen as I walk outside and light up acigarette. I let the nicotine fill my lungs as I stare out at the rising sun. How many of those have I missed with Charlie? What’s it going to be like having her here? I find myself wondering if I’m going to be a good dad to her, if I’m going to be able to take care of her the way she deserves. And this other baby. Is Tianna ever going to look at it like it’s mine? Ours? I can handle raising another man’s baby. I can overlook the fact it’s not mine. But can she?

The door opens and closes, and I glance over to see Kiki coming to stand next to me. She looks out at the sky and smiles.

“I haven’t been up this early in a long time to see the sunrise.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“It is. I think she’s trying, Remy. I’m not sure if she’s going to keep this baby.”

“She’s pretty said as much.”

“Are you going to be okay if she doesn’t?” she asks, looking up at me now.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m not one for takin’ a child’s life. That baby is growin’ inside her. It’s a person. A tiny human. What gives us the right to take away it’s life?”

“I understand, and I get where you’re coming from, but I also see her side. She’s hurting. She’s disgusted with what happened to her, and having to see that baby every day is going to be a reminder of what Brad did to her. She’s going to have to look at that every single day. Do you think she’s strong enough to do that?” I bring the cigarette to my lips and inhale.

“I understand that. I thought if we looked at the baby as mine, she would see it differently. I want her to see it differently.”

“I know you do but that’s going to be hard on her. Give her a little time to figure this out. Surely, it can’t be an easy decision for her.”

“I know it’s not. But she has me, and she doesn’t even see that.”

“She knows you’re there, Remy. She knows she has you,” Kiki says as she rests her hand on my arm. I throw my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side as we watch the sunrise together.

I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel. I’m giving her every chance I possibly can.

I finish my cigarette and follow Kiki back inside. Tianna is no longer at the bar where we left her, and I assume she went back to bed. Instead of going to check, I walk over and talk to Gunner.

“Hodge told you, I assume.”

“Yeah, he did. We hittin’ it?”

“If that’s what you wanna do. There’s no tellin’ what we’re gonna find there, Remy. I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“I know, Prez. I’m not expectin’ anything out of this.”

“Good. That’s a good way to go in. The guys are all ready when you are.” I nod my head and walk over to the bar, grabbing a shot and taking it down. I don’t care if the sun just came up.

I turn on my heel and walk back down the bedroom, and when I step inside, I see her balled up under the covers. I shake my head and grab my shirt and my gun, stuffing it into the back of my jeans.

Walking over to the bed, I sit on the edge and rest my hand on her arm.

“I wish I could fix all this for you, Tianna. Just know I love you, baby. I love you.” She doesn’t answer, so I assume she’s asleep. I shove off the bed and walk back out the door and down to the main room to find the guys waiting on me. Kiki gives me a soft smile, and I nod in return.

“Let’s get there while it’s early. They won’t expect that,” Gunner declares. The guys nod their heads in agreement before we shuffle out the door and climb on our bikes. Hodge takes the van just in case we find anything. We always go prepared.

We take off out of the parking lot, and the cool wind hits my face. It’s a great feeling to have. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this kind of peace. Riding is a stress reliever for many of us. There’s just something about being a part of this machine that soothes the soul.

We take a turn and head down a few side roads before Gunner pulls to the side. We kill our engines as he climbs off, removing his helmet.

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