Page 7 of Remy

“Nope. She said I was her only friend and she needed me there. What kind of shit is that? How the fuck would that look? The girl I love is marryin’ another man, and I’m just sittin’ in the audience watchin’ it all go down?” I sigh and take a long pull from my bottle as Locke blows out a breath.

“I can’t believe she even asked you to do it.”

“No shit. I couldn’t either.”

“You’re not goin’, are you?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know. I don’t know how I would sit there and not strangle that motherfucker at his own weddin’, brother.”

“I heard that. I don’t think I could either.”

“Then what the fuck do I do? I’ve never told Tianna no for anything.”

“That’s on you, brother. You’re the only one who knows if you can handle seein’ that shit and walk away from her,” he says. I nod my head as he leans back on the couch next to me.

“Think I should take a date?” I chuckle.

“Now, that would be crazy. You showin’ up at her weddin’ with a date.”

“Maybe it would make her rethink her choice,” I say.

“And maybe it wouldn’t. Why do you think she’s marryin’ him anyway?”

“She claims to love him. I don’t know if she does. I mean, how do you love someone and keep fuckin’ your ex?”

“I don’t think that girl knows what love is.” Maybe he’s right. Maybe she doesn’t know what love is or what it means. Maybe her head is screwed up.

“Might be right on that one.”

Chapter 6

Tianna

I haven’t felt myself lately. I haven’t felt much of anything, for that matter. Most days, I feel numb.

I find myself wondering more and more each day why I’m here, why I’m doing this. Why I stay with him? I do love him in some sort of fucked up way, I suppose. At first, I truly wanted to marry him, but we had only known each other for a short time. I felt different and cared for with him. When we met, he was everything I couldn’t have wanted in a man. He was caring, loving and gentle. But now? He’s controlling. I saw his true colors two years ago. I saw who he really was, and I thought if I loved him enough, things would change for me. For her. They didn’t. They only got worse for me.

Now, his only rule is that we get married, we are one. And that I follow his rules. And I do, for the most part.

But Remy? How do I leave him? How do I not love him anymore? He’s everything to me. He’s always been everything to me, but I hated the club life. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t want any part of it. I’ve seen Remy come home bloodied and bruised, and that wasn’t a life I wanted for myself. I couldn’t just stay there and look the other way, but I also can’t stay away from him. It’s a lose-lose situation for me. He isn’t going to leave the club, and there’s no way I can live in that uncertainty. I’ve thought about it, time after time. Would it really be that bad? What if I just stayed away from the club aspects of it? But each time I remember the way he looked when he came home that night. Blood coated his hands, and there were splatters up hisshirt. His eyes were as wild as I’d ever seen them as if he were high.

I remember him stripping and fucking me against the wall of the bathroom. It wasn’t his normal fucking. It was angry and enraged. I knew after that I couldn’t be what he needed me to be. I never told him about that night and what bothered me. I gave him hints. I didn’t know how to come out and tell him he actually scared me that night. And now here we are.

I sit back in the chair and look at the papers and magazines the wedding planner gave me to get some ideas on dresses and things. There are some beautiful and expensive things in here that I know Brad wouldn’t mind giving me. I wouldn’t mind it either if I weren’t putting my life on the line for this. I’m not saying that it’s all about me; it isn’t. It’s about her. And only her. And soon she’ll be with me. And that is the point of all this. Her.

I shake my head, trying to rid the thoughts and memories that invade my mind. The thoughts of her not being with me. The way he took her. The way he uses her. Tears fall down my cheeks before I even realize it. I reach up and wipe them away quickly before Brad comes home and sees them.

I look back down and flip a few more pages when the door opens, and he walks in. I look up, hoping he can’t see the redness in my eyes from the crying.

“Hey. How was your day?” I ask. I watch him sit his briefcase down by the door before loosening his tie.

“It was good. Long. What are you doing?” he asks, nodding toward the magazines in my hand.

“Penny gave them to me. Thought I might get some ideas for the wedding,” I tell him. He nods his head and walks over, sitting on the arm of the chair.

“What have you found?” I don’t like this. I don’t like doing this. Playing house with him, but I do it anyway.

“I don’t know what I want. These things are all so extravagant and expensive.”