Page 39 of Remy

“Charlie needs her mom,” I say softly.

“And she’ll have her.” I nod my head. Yeah, she’s going to be okay.

The ride to the hospital seems to take forever. My mind keeps wandering to places it shouldn’t go. I keep thinking about the what-ifs. What if she doesn’t make it? What if I’m left with Charlie alone? I can’t raise that little girl by myself. There’s no fucking way.

We pull up to the hospital, and I climb out like a fucking zombie. We head inside and let them know who we’re looking for before they bring us to a waiting room.

My nerves are shot. I don’t know how long I can sit here. I don’t know how long I can go without knowing something.

“Keep your head straight,” Gunner tells me. I nod my head before resting it in my hands. I close my eyes, and I dosomething I haven’t done in a long fucking time. I pray. I pray to God that he let’s her be okay.

Chapter 24

Remy

They finally came and got me to go see her. She’s … not good. She lies there motionless, with tubes and wires coming out of her. She looks so damn fragile in this moment.

She overdosed just like we knew she did. Now she’s in a coma. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I’m hurt, I’m scared, I’m pissed. There are so many emotions running through me that I can’t even comprehend which is the right one. I just sit here saying nothing to her. I want to yell at her. I have every right to fucking yell at her, but I don’t. The nurse said she could hear me. I don’t fucking believe her, so I don’t say anything right now. I just watch her.

I never thought this was how my life would end up. I never once thought I’d be raising a baby on my own. And looking at her lying there, I don’t know if I can. Maybe Charlie was better off with Brad’s cousin. At least there, she was being cared for properly.

I shift in my chair and reach for her hand. I wrap my fingers around it and pull myself closer.

“I should yell at you. I should shake your ass until you wake up and then fuckin’ yell at you again,” I mumble, not knowing what else to do.

“You did what you set out to do. There is no more baby,” I tell her as if she can hear me now. “You fuckin’ took that from me too, Tianna. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why you’re so goddamnselfish.” I squeeze her hand a little tighter than I need to before I realize what I’m doing, and then I loosen my grip.

“I went out and got her back just for you to disappear again. You know how fucked up that is, right? The fact that anything could have happened to us while we were out there lookin’ for Charlie, and you did this shit?”

I scrub my free hand over my face, not knowing what to do with myself. They said anger was natural to feel. And I sure as hell feel it.

“You know, when you left me the first time, I thought I could get over you. That time you were gone, no doubt havin’ Charlie, I tried to move on. Then you showed up that day lookin’ for me, and fuck! I thought you were comin’ back to me. And when you did come back? God, Tianna. I was in heaven. I had you back in my arms where you belonged, and then this? How could you do this to me? To us?” The door opens and in walks the guys.

“How you doin’?” Hodge asks me. I shake my head and wipe at my eyes because I’m falling apart here. I’m slowly falling apart.

“She’s the same as she has been. Doc said, uh, she might not wake up,” I say, forcing the words to leave my mouth.

“You gotta stay positive, Remy. Don’t go down that path until you have to,” Gunner tells me.

“I’m doin’ the best I can. How’s Charlie?” I haven’t been home in a few days. I’ve opted to stay here with Tianna.

“She’s good. Kiki is lovin’ havin’ her there.”

“Yeah, Kiki is good with her,” I mumble.

“Why don’t you take a break and go see her? I’ll stay here and sit with her.” I love that he’s offering, but I don’t know if I can pull myself away from her. I do want to see Charlie, though. I do want to make sure she’s okay. So I finally nod my head. I lean down and press my lips to Tianna’s hand before I release it and stand up. I walk over to the guys and they pull me into a hug.

“She’s gonna be fine. She’ll get through this,” Locke tries to reassure me. Hodge slaps a hand on my back before following me into the hallway.

“I’ll drive you home.” I nod my head and look over my shoulder at her door before following him down the hallway.

“I can’t believe this is what my life is now,” I tell him.

“It was a shock to all of us that she’d do that.”

“She couldn’t deal with it. And part of that is my fault. I tried to force her to keep that baby even though she wanted nothin’ to do with it.”

“Don’t blame yourself, brother. You were doin’ what you felt was right. There’s no shame in that.”

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