Page 22 of Remy

“I don’t really have one. My life was whatever Brad said it was. I lost all contact with my family, my friends. Everything had to be his way or no way,” I admit, even though the thought hurts.

“What about Charlie?”

“I found out I was pregnant not long after I moved in with him. He was happy at first, or at least he faked it well. He knew she wasn’t his, and he accepted that, or so I thought. It was all a joke. He hated Charlie for being Remy’s. That’s what he used to control me after she was born. He took her away from me. Used her as a tool, and I let him. I didn’t know how to tell Remy he had a daughter, and I didn’t know where she was.” Tears roll down my cheeks as I think about it. “He would let me see her if I acted accordingly. So I learned to plaster on a smile and enjoy every second of being with him, even if it killed a part of me. I did it all for her.”

“Fuck, Tianna. Does Remy know all this?” I shake my head.

“I never told him everything. He’s so angry, and I knew that would make it worse.”

“He needs to know.” I nod my head, knowing this already, and I plan on telling him everything. “I know. I’m going to tell him.”

“Good. Then you can start workin’ on you two.”

“There is nothing left between us, Hodge. I’ve ruined that.”

“I don’t think so. Listen, I know Remy, knew him before you came along. What I see in that man’s eyes is love. Real love. Don’t shut him out, Tianna. Give him a chance.” I nod my head and watch as he stands and walks away. I shove off the couch and head back down to the room. I’m overwhelmed by the scent of him. It’s everywhere.

I walk over to the dresser and pull the drawer open to find the pictures I saw the other night. I pull them out and go through them, one by one. Pictures of me and him a long time ago. Pictures of what love used to look like before I ruined it all.

I take the stack over to the bed and sit down, flipping through them all. We looked so happy. We looked like we were in love, and at the time, I don’t doubt we were. But I ruined that. I ruined what we had because I wasn’t ready to deal with his lifestyle.

Even now that I think about it, I don’t know if I could handle it. And Charlie? What would I tell her? What kind of mother would I be to let her child see the way he looks when he comes back?

I sit quietly, looking at the photos, when someone knocks on the door. I look up to see Kiki, Locke’s old lady, pop her head in.

“Hey,” she says softly.

“Hey, Kiki.”

“Some of us ladies are having a drink fest. Care to join?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me, causing me to smile.

“I don’t know. Isn’t it just for the old ladies?”

“Oh, okay. Act like you don’t belong to Remy all you want, but we all know that’s a lie.”

“I don’t belong to him. Not anymore.”

“Is that why he warned all the prospects away from you?” she asks.

“What?”

“You heard me. Warned them all he would cut their fuckin’ balls off if they even looked your way.” I shake my head. I had no idea.

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well, he did. I was there, and it was hot as fuck too. If you would have seen it you would have been all over the man.” Now I laugh a little.

“I can’t see him being like that.”

“Girl, he is like that, especially over you. Now, come on. We’re drinking.” She walks over to the bed and snatches the pictures from my hand and tosses them back onto the bed before dragging me up. I walk with her, not really having a choice, as she leads me back into the main room where the women have gathered. They’re all laughing and having a good time.

Kiki walks into the middle of the group, grabs a few shots, and passes me one.

“Most of you already know, Tianna. If you don’t, this is Remy’s old lady.” I’m about to open my mouth but think better of it and down my shot.

We get into a groove and drink like I’ve never drank before. Kiki keeps us all laughing and having a good time. I don’t know how long we’ve stayed out here talking or laughing but it sure as hell feels good. I’ve not had a genuine moment like this for a long time.

“We’re dancing!” Kiki calls out before she turns on some music. The place is loud, and the few guys who linger around are all off somewhere else, so I figure it couldn’t hurt. I follow her to the middle of the room and start dancing to the music.

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