Page 57 of Forever Mine

“Yeah you can. I believe in you. And I’ll be there the whole time, remember? You and me. I won’t leave your side.”

His shoulders heaved. “Right. Right.I can do this.”

Jay took my hand with the one not holding his crutch and together we hobbled into the building.

It had been a long and chaotic month. All I wanted to do was hole up in my apartment with Jay and just be. I didn’t want to deal with anything, not even my family, as much as I loved them. It wasn’t possible though, and the past month was a whirlwind ofdoctor’s visits, interviews with the police, dodging the press, and family members showing up unannounced to check up on us.

Things were finally settling down, but I was still shocked when Jay brought up going to therapy last week. I guess I wasn’t hiding the nightmares as well as I thought I was, and after a long and sleepless night, Jay brought it up. I was so fucking proud of him, even if he said it mainly because of me.

“Remember,” I said right before we walked into Dr. Walsh’s office. “Dr. Walsh is not Mr. Chase. She’s the therapist for all of Luca’s crew. She’s a safe space.”

He chewed on his lip ring. “And you’ll be there?” he asked again.

“I’ll be there.” Dr. Walsh had agreed to do our therapy as a group session. I think eventually she hoped to get individual appointments with us, but she understood the situation and was willing to do this as long as Jay needed it.

I was glad for it too. I couldn’t fucking stop seeing that bullet shoot through his leg, only in my dreams, it wasn’t his leg, it was his head. I thought they’d ease over time. We were safe. Dr. Kiley was in jail. But they only kept getting worse. The first few weeks were so hectic and focused on Jay’s physical recovery, I don’t think I had the chance for it to really hit me. My nights were still restless and nightmare plagued even then, but it was easier to manage. Lately though, I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing Jay’s lifeless body on the floor. It felt like something I needed to work through with Jay, even if I was scared for him to know the extent of how much it all haunted me whenever I closed my eyes.

We walked in and a smiling receptionist greeted us. “Hi, we have an appointment. Dakota Kelly and Jaylin Parks.”

“Oh yes, welcome. Please take a seat and I’ll let you know Dr. Walsh know you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

Jay never let go of my hand. He didn’t say anything either, just let me do the talking and lead him to the chair.

“This is nicer than I thought it’d be,” he finally commented stiffly when the receptionist left the room.

I glanced at him. “What did you expect?”

He shrugged. “Plastic chairs and linoleum floors.”

I couldn’t help it, I snorted. “You expected a high school cafeteria?”

He knocked into my shoulder, but he was fighting a smile. “Shh, I don’t know. I think I built it up in my head, ya know?”

“Yeah, I get that. Thanks for doing this.”

Jay smiled softly, and kissed my head. “Of course, sweetheart. I think we both need this.” Yeah I really thought we did.

The door to the office opened and a kind looking woman in her early forties opened the door. Her brown hair was in a cute pixie cut, and instead of the severe suit even I expected, she was wearing a pair of gray flared pinstripe pants and a navy blue silk blouse with a sheer overlay with little polka dots. Bridget would love that out.

“Dakota and Jaylin? I’m Dr. Walsh, but everyone just calls me Lily. Are you ready to come inside?”

I could physically feel Jay relax at her warm and casual tone, and he climbed to his feet, me right beside him. It kind of fucking sucked that it took a crazy ass stalker and us getting kidnapped to get to this point, but this felt like a huge step, not just for Jay, but for myself, and I was so proud of both of us.

I stretched out on Jay’s lap, well, his good leg, as we relaxed on the couch after our appointment.

“I feel like I could nap for a week.”

Jay frowned at me. He was playing with my hair with one hand while ordering food on his phone with the other. “Yeah, same. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but I am worn out.”

“Same. I didn’t realize how mentally exhausting it would be. But I do feel a little better.”

Jay tugged my hair lightly. “Yeah, and hopefully those techniques will help you to sleep better.”

Not surprisingly, Jay was aware of my nightmares when I brought them up to Dr. Walsh, and had an idea on how bad they were getting. Didn’t stop both of us from bursting out in tears when I talked about them. I was hoping to avoid sleeping pills if I could, so Dr. Walsh started to teach me a few techniques that might help, and ways Jay could help too.

I closed my eyes and kicked my legs over the side of the couch. “Let’s not talk about it anymore. I think we both need to decompress, with burgers and cheese fries, and all the cheesy movies on Netflix we can handle.”

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