Page 89 of Someday You Learn

“Yes, and the flyers you suggested printing will be here tomorrow. Astrid said I can give her some to put in the bakery, and several other businesses also agreed to hand them out too.”

I look down at Cashlynn, in awe of her, memorizing the look on her face—the pure joy, pride, and excitement. Her dream is becoming a reality, and I’m proud that I played even a small part in that. Even though I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this arrangement at first, the closer we get to the opening of her gallery, I realize it’s been worth every minute.

Fuck. I think I’m in deeper than I realized.

***

My knees bounce uncontrollably as I sit on the couch in the waiting room. It’s been years since I’ve sought out therapy, but after the talk with my brothers yesterday, I know this is what I need. Cashlynn deserves a man that doesn’t have baggage, a man that can learn from his mistakes and do his best not to repeat them.

But waiting for the door to that office to open is making me more anxious by the second.

I left work and came straight to my appointment, grateful the doctor had a last-minute cancellation. But now that means it’s truly time for me to face the music.

“Parker?” A woman’s voice breaks through my spiraling thoughts. I look up to see a woman in her late fifties with short, gray hair and glasses standing in the doorway.

I stand from the couch and nod, adjusting my glasses. “Yeah, that’s me.”

She smiles warmly and gestures for me to follow her inside, shutting the door softly behind her. “Welcome. I’m Dr. Jensen, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” I stand awkwardly, not sure what I’m supposed to do. I see a brown leather couch along the far wall, a matching chair to the right, and a few potted plants beside the large, mahogany desk that fills the corner to my left.

I gesture toward the couch. “Do you want me to lie down on the couch, or…”

Shesmiles. “Whatever makes you comfortable. Some people like to lie down, some prefer to sit—it’s up to you.” She waves her hand toward the furniture.

Nodding, I head for the couch and opt to just sit on it, clasping my hands between my knees as I lean forward.

“You seem nervous,” Dr. Jensen says as she settles into her chair, a clipboard poised on her lap, legs crossed.

I slowly release a breath. “I am. I’ve been to therapy in the past, but I wasn’t really open to it. But now, some things in my life have changed, and I—I’m ready to move forward.”

“Okay. I appreciate your honesty. What brought you in before?”

“I was engaged, and it…ended badly.”

She jots down a few notes. “Okay. What brings you in now?”

“There’s a woman…” The corner of her mouth lifts as she waits for me to continue. “After my failed engagement, I said I would never get involved with anyone again—swore off relationships completely. But then Cashlynn came into my life, and now…”

“Now what?” she prompts gently.

“Now I want to get over this fear of it ending badly too.”

She places her pen down on her pad and looks directly at me. “What is it that you’re afraid of, Parker? What happened that had you swearing off relationships?”

I shift uncomfortably on the couch, my hands clasped so tightly that my knuckles ache. “I’m afraid I’ll fail again,” I finally admit, my voice low. “That I don’t know how to be the kind of man who can really… be there for someone.”

Dr. Jensen nods slightly, her pen poised but not moving. She waits, and the silence stretches long enough for my heart to start pounding.

I take a deep breath and push through the lump in my throat. “Because Sasha…” My voice falters, and I look down at my hands, forcingthe words out. “I failed her as a partner. And because of me… she died.”

Chapter sixteen

Parker

“Cashlynn?”

It’s after nine by the time I get home, and the front half of the house is pitch-black. The only light in the space is the overhead lamp on the stove where I see a plate covered in tin foil sitting along with a note.

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