Page 86 of Someday You Learn

Cashlynn shakes her head. “Stories like that make me think maybe it was better that I was an only child.”

“The two of them were always ganging up on me, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that life would be boring without them. However, I have this nice scar to remind me that I should always look out for myself.”

“Do you still exercise caution around them?”

“Uh, hell yes,” I say with a laugh.

She giggles. “Can’t trust them, can you?”

Her words slam into me. “I would trust them with my life.”

Her smile softens “You’re lucky to have them.”

It’s in that moment I realize that I don’t appreciate my family enough. Instead of leaning on them, their involvement in my life has made me irritated and jaded. I’ve let my anger build walls between us, but she’s right—I’m lucky to have those stories to tell. She’ll never have that privilege.

“What about you? Any scars I should know about?”

Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine. “None you can see,” she whispers, and fuck if I don’t understand that.

I trail my finger down her arm, watching her skin pebble. “I grasp that all too well, sweetheart.”

When she reaches for me and pulls my lips to hers, I fight with myself to open up my mouth and bury myself in her, to smother the bad memories with everything good that this woman represents.

“You know, I read a quote once that reminds me a lot of you and me.” I lift my head so I can see her face again.

“Really? What did it say?”

“It said, ‘You can’t force chemistry to exist where it doesn’t, the same way you can’t deny it when it does.’”

She sucks in a breath. “I love that.”

Something shifts inside of me in that moment, something that urges me to be honest with her. “When I’m with you, Cashlynn… I feel like I can breathe for the first time in years. I want to know everything about you—what you think, what you feel. And then I want to fuck you in every position imaginable.”

Okay, there were some feelings in there, Parker. That was a good start.

She laughs. “I’m not opposed to that.”

“Thank you for pushing me,” I say sincerely, trying to show her that even though I’m a surly grump most of the time, I do appreciate her. I don’t deserve her and I’m afraid she’s going to fucking realize that before I can get my shit together.

I put my palm on my chest. “Fightingwithyou—fightingagainstyou—was making my chest ache.”

She cups the side of my face. “I know you’ve been hurt, Parker, but the last thing I want to do is hurt you again. And one day, I hope that you’ll feel ready to share your past with me, your whole past.”

My pulse spikes just thinking about it, but deep down, I want that too. I’m finally ready to try to let go, to move forward, and to open my heart again. Maybe Cashlynn can help me see that it’s okay to have scars, as long as I can learn to live with them.

***

“There you two are! I was beginning to wonder if you were coming at all.” My mother greets us as we step through the front door, pausing just long enough to hug us before returning to the kitchen.

I lean down and whisper in Cashlynn’s ear. “Someone was coming, all right.”

Cashlynn swats at my chest as I laugh out loud.

“Did I just hear Parker laugh?” Hazel appears from around the corner, wine glass in hand, and eyes us both suspiciously.

We’re late because when Cashlynn came out of her room in tight jeans and a black sweater hugging her curves in all the best ways, I knew I wouldn’t make it through dinner if I didn’t fuck her one more time before we left.

I feel like a sex-crazed teenager right now, but neither one of us is complaining about it.

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