Page 73 of Someday You Learn

“I just…”Do I tell her I heard their conversation?“I’m just concerned is all.”

Beth flashes me a smile that seems a little forced. “I’m sure if there were something going on, Cashlynn would be the one to ask, wouldn’t she?”

“Perhaps. But you know Robert. He’s stubborn. I could see him hiding a diagnosis from Cashlynn just so he didn’t have to argue with her about what he should do.”

She nods. “That sounds like him, but as far as I know, he’s in perfectly good health. In fact, his doctor said he’s looking great after his fall. ”

“Well, that’s good to hear.”

She smiles again before she starts to retreat. “Okay, dear. Well, I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Thanks, Beth. Let’s have a smoothday, shall we?”

She rolls her eyes. “That’s always the goal, Parker, but you and I both know how crazy this place can get.”

I nod, chuckling. “That’s true.”

“Honestly, once Robert retires, we may need to look into hiring another doctor, so neither you nor Seth have to be here all the time. That’s no way to have a life.”

I scoff. “This job is my life, Beth.”

“No, itwas. Now you have Cashlynn, and your life together needs to be your new priority.” She arches a brow at me before leaving my office and putting me right back into the tailspin I was in last night as I was trying to find sleep.

Hearing Cashlynn on the phone with Hazel was eye-opening, and not just because it confirmed she wants more from me, but because it forced me to ask myself if I can be the man she deserves if I decide to pursue something more.

I’ve only been in two serious relationships in my life—one in high school and then Sasha. But when I claim a woman as mine, I’m all in, and the thought of doing that again, putting myself out there like that and opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt again makes my stomach turn and my jaw hurt from clenching it.

Growing up, my father preached about being dedicated to a woman and led by example in the way he loved my mom.

When he returned from the Marines before I was born, I know he struggled mentally. He’d seen and done things that no human should ever have to live with. But my mom has always said that me being born is what saved him and their marriage. And I never took that truth for granted. I guess in some way, I felt a responsibility to live up to the example they set, to prove that I was grateful to them for working through their issues and being an example of what love really is—choosing to love someone through every good and bad thing in your life, dedicating yourself to growing and changing with another human right alongside of you.

But with Sasha, I failed.

I failed to make things work, and that disappointment has buried itself deep in my bones. I’ve walked around with it for years.

But can I let it go? Am I willing to try again? Can I learn from that and make better decisions moving forward?

Is Cashlynn the woman to take that risk with?

I don’t know—and it scares the ever-loving shit out of me.

I go back to my paperwork, still conflicted over how to approach this situation with Cashlynn, but by the time the practice opens, my focus is firmly on work. Today is surgery day, so I lead several spaying and neutering procedures, as well as dental cleanings and lump removals.

Around mid-afternoon, I walk back to my office to finish up some paperwork. Seth corners me inside, standing in my doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Can I help you, Dr. Brown?” I ask, not bothering to look up from my desk.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what exactly?”

“Lie and have no remorse about it.”

My head pops up to find him smugly smiling in my direction. “Excuse me?”

“People should be able to trust the doctors taking care of their pets.”

“Ha. That’s rich coming from you,” I reply, folding my arms over my chest and leaning back in my chair. “What are you implying, Seth?”

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