Page 22 of Someday You Learn

The man my father always spoke so highly of was suddenly right there on the plane next to me. I felt like I’d met a celebrity. Then I realized how attractive, funny, and caring he was, and I slept with him. Looking back now, that probably wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had, but I don’t regret it. That night was incredible. My only remorse is that I left him so abruptly, but I had to. I couldn’t take another moment of the lies resting between us.

I take a deep breath of courage before I continue. “I needed a change, and when Beth told me you were hurt, I just reacted. And Parker is here. That job, that life…” I stare off into space for a minute, gathering my thoughts. “It’s not what I want.”

He frowns. “Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s whatyouwanted for me.”

Our eyes meet and, for a second, I swear I see a flash of remorse in his. But it disappears just as quickly as it came. “I wanted you to have stability. To make smart choices. To build a life that would last.”

“I know.”

He sighs. “If that makes me a bad father, then so be it.” The defensiveness rolling off him is exactly why I’ve been putting this off.

“You’re not a bad father. I love you and appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me, but you pushed me into a life you thought was best because you didn’t want me to end up like Mom.”

Just mentioning her has my father going stiff.

Losing your mother at sixteen is something no person should ever have to go through. But growing up with a father who was never the same after she died? That’s another experience that can scar you just the same.

He stares across the room for a moment, his jaw tight and his hands balled into fists as he rocks back and forth in his chair.

“But at twenty-nine, I realized that I felt stuck and numb, Dad. You can’t be mad at me for wanting more for myself.”

His gaze drifts back to mine. “I’m not mad, June Bug. I’m just worried. You come here and announce you’re engaged to a man I didn’t even know you were seeing—a man I’ve been working with for the past six years, no less. Forgive me for being a little concerned.”

I stand from my spot on the couch and walk over to him, taking his hand. “I’m sorry for keeping things from you and surprising you like this.But when Beth called me, I knew I had to come check on you, and it felt like the right time to tell you about the changes in my life, too.”

“I’m fine.”

I tilt my head to the side as I look down at him. “I think you’ve established that. But like I said, you’re not getting any younger, and falling is a sign—”

“That what? I’m clumsy? Because that’s all it was. I missed a step.”

“What were you doing, anyway?”

He darts his eyes from mine. “I was going down to the basement.”

“For what?”

“Just…stuff.” His evasiveness should concern me, but this is my father’s house. He deserves his privacy and now’s not the time to push him further.

“Either way, I don’t like you living alone.”

“Well, I’ve been alone for the past eleven years since you left for Cornell, and I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. Except you’re here now and need a place to stay…

“I’ll be staying with Parker,” I say, hoping that once I speak to him, he’ll agree and I won’t have to go back on that lie. Besides, it’s going to be much easier for me to accomplish what I need to without living under my father’s nose.

Taking a step back, I push a hand through my hair, hoping he can’t see how badly my hands are shaking from my nerves.

My dad leans back in his chair and begins rocking again. “So, you ready to tell me how that relationship came to be?”

Uh, no. I need to make sure that Parker is going to go along with my lie first.

Not to mention, we should get our story straight so we can put on a united front. Having a fake fiancé was not originally part of my plan, but I think it might help me see this through. My father will have something else to focus on while I attempt to figure out my life, and since Parker’s not a complete stranger, hopefully it will be easy to act the part.

Yeah, good luck with that, Cashlynn. Try not to remember what Parker Sheppard felt like hovering over you that night while your father questions how the hell you two met.

Jesus, why did I have to drag Parker into this mess with me?

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