Page 113 of Someday You Learn

Hazel tilts her head at me. “No you don’t. You love him. But he hurt you, betrayed your trust, and you have every right to feel the way you do.”

“But…”

“No buts. I’d be pissed too if the man I was seeing did something like that to me.”

I lean back and stare at the floor. “I just can’t believe that he did exactly what I made him promise me he wouldn’t.”

“Usually, it’s the people we care about the most who hurt us the worst. Because we let them in—we show them our weaknesses, what we value most. It’s like handing them the bullets to load the gun.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from personal experience.”

She shrugs. “I think we’ve all had jackass ex-boyfriends we’ve contemplated making Voodoo dolls for.”

I chuckle. “You’re not wrong about that.”

“But Parker isn’t a jackass.”

“Then what would you call him?”

“And idiot. But probably an idiot in love.”

I focus back on the floor. “He told me where he’s been going during his late-night appointments.”

That has Hazel perking up. “He did?”

“Yeah. He’s been seeing a therapist.”

Her eyes widen. “No shit.”

“Yeah. Can you believe he was hiding something like that from me?”

“Why does that surprise you?”

I contemplate her question for a moment. “I guess it doesn’t, but still…that’s not some life-altering secret. If he would have just been honest with me about it, I would have told him how much I supported that.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, Cashlynn. Going to therapyislife-altering for Parker. My mom, my brothers, and I have all tried to convince him for years.” I start picking at my nails as she continues. “The fact that he’s finally going tells me that he’s serious about your relationship. It sure as hell wasn’t me who pushed him to go this time.”

“Oh.”

“And I’m not trying to point any fingers or place blame here,” she says, “but you’re the one who started all of these lies, and he went along with it. The fact that he ended them before you did might be a good thing.”

“Why?”

“Because then he looked like the bad guy to your father, not you.”

My eyes fill with fresh tears as I stare across the room at her. “He said he stood up to my father, told him that he didn’t care if it meant losing the practice.”

Hazel raises her eyebrows. “I think that’s pretty amazing, but again, I might be biased because it’s my brother we’re talking about.”

I shove my face back into the pillow and let my emotions wash over me.

All the work, all the time I’ve put in over the past three months feels like it was for nothing becauseIwasn’t the one to reveal it to my father. I’d been imagining that moment, hoping his reaction would be one of awe and understanding, but after hearing Parker defend me and challenge my father, it just reminds me that I was probably living in a fantasy.

Was Parker right to tell him? Will he hopefully be less angry by the time the opening comes in a few days? Will he even show up?

And what about me and Parker?

“My chest fucking hurts,” I say through my tears.

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