Page 85 of Marble Hall Murders

‘And Roland,’ I said.

She flinched. ‘The way Eliot sees it, Roland betrayed him. When they were young, it was the three of them against the world. It hurt Eliot so much when Roland went to work for Jonathan Crace. Can you believe that man? Uncle Jonathan? He lost his own daughter to those books and he still wants to promote them and keep selling them.’ She sighed. ‘But I suppose we’re just as bad. We wouldn’t have this house if it wasn’t for Miriam Crace. The Little People still support us, like they do the rest of the family. Eliot once said to me that taking her money was like taking drugs. You know it’s going to kill you eventually, but you can’t stop yourself.’

‘But Eliot has stopped taking drugs,’ Elaine said.

Gillian looked up scornfully. ‘He’s never stopped. He drinks too much, he smokes and he still takes whatever he can get his hands on. I’ve given up trying to boss him around. Drugs were the start of all his problems and it didn’t take me long to realise that if I went on at him, I’d only lose him.’

She took a sip of whatever was in the mug, still cupping it in both hands.

‘Eliot and I have been together for six years. I was the one who encouraged him to start writing again because I knewhe’d be good at it. I don’t know why he decided on murder stories. I wanted him to write romance or something big likeThe Lord of the Rings. He’s got such an imagination. There are whole worlds exploding in his head. He was so disappointed when the Dr Gee books didn’t do well.’

‘Charles did everything he could,’ Elaine said.

‘I know, Elaine. I’m not blaming him. You were both so kind to Eliot – and he needed you. He needed someone a little bit older and more sensible in his life.’

‘What about his parents?’ I asked. ‘I know they’re in America, but do you ever speak to them?’

‘Not really. I’ve seen them exactly three times since our wedding. They call us when they come to London and I’ve told them they can stay here. It is their house, after all. But they don’t understand Eliot. The drug thing, when he overdosed, really horrified them. It was so completely outside their experience. And there’s still the shadow of Miriam Crace hanging over them. Edward said it would be better for all of us if we kept apart.

‘I know you both feel sorry for me and you probably think Eliot is horrible to have hit me when I’m pregnant, but I don’t want you saying anything to him because it’s not fair and I’m partly to blame.’

She put the mug down and clasped her hands between her knees.

‘I love Eliot and I’ve done everything I can to make him happy. I knew what I was letting myself in for when I met him and I was just grateful for the good days we had together, when we were the same as any normal couple. But there were lots of bad times too, when he went off on one of his bingesand I didn’t see him for a week. Whenever that happened, I’d be worried sick about him and when he finally turned up, or when he was dropped off by one of his cronies or in a police car or an ambulance, I’d be furious with him for putting me through it, because he knew I still cared about him.

‘The trouble was, there were more bad days than good ones. I felt so lonely. It was like he didn’t need me any more and I began to wonder what I was doing, staying with him. Staying in this house. It was almost like he’d turned me into a prisoner, just like he’d been at Marble Hall.’

She sighed. ‘I suppose what happened was inevitable. I was feeling low and I was stressed out at work and Eliot was away from home.’ She took a breath. ‘And I met someone. I had an affair. I knew it was wrong. I knew it would kill Eliot if he found out – but I couldn’t stop myself. I just wanted a little happiness and when it was offered to me, I took it.’

She fell silent. But I’d seen it in her eyes. I knew what she was about to say.

‘The baby isn’t his,’ I volunteered.

‘Eliot has a hormonal imbalance, and the drugs haven’t helped.’ Once again it was the pragmatic nurse who was speaking. ‘He’s infertile. We’ve both had to accept that we can’t have children together.’

There was a long silence as we took this in.

‘Are you going to tell us who the father is?’ Elaine asked and I noticed a certain iciness in her voice. She had been Eliot’s friend when he was just a boy. Perhaps she had come to the conclusion that this was, after all, Gillian’s fault.

‘No!’ For the first time, Gillian looked alarmed, afraideven. ‘Eliot began to suspect that I was seeing someone about three months ago …’

That was about the time he started writing the book, I thought.

‘… and then he saw a text on my phone. How could I have been as stupid as that? He saw a message and he worked it out and he was furious with me. Worse than that. He stormed off and I didn’t see him for three weeks, and when he finally got back, he was different. He was moody, tearful, bitter, silent. I swore to him that it was over, that it had all been a terrible mistake and that it wouldn’t happen again – and I meant it! I thought it might be a sort of warning signal and it would help get us back together.’

‘And then you found you were pregnant,’ Elaine said.

‘I saw the doctor this morning. I told Eliot when I got back from my shift. That was just a few hours ago and he went crazy.’ She pointed to her face. ‘He didn’t know what he was doing. I’ve never seen him so angry, so out of control!’

Eliot had gone home after seeing me. All this drama had been playing out while I was reading his new pages.

‘Do you know where he is?’ Elaine asked. She appeared to be more concerned about Eliot than Gillian.

‘No. He didn’t say. He just stormed out.’

Gillian was beginning to crumple again. We both saw it. The tears returned to her eyes. She looked exhausted.

‘I think you should see a doctor,’ I said. ‘If not for you, then for the baby. It’s not just the physical side. This whole thing has been very traumatic. Do you have a local GP?’

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