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“That wasn’t what I was saying.” Ivy clasped her hands together, worrying her bottom lip.

“It is exactly what you are saying. You can try to spin this however you want, but ultimately that is exactly what you are saying. You do not trust me.”

“I do,” Ivy said it as though the suggestion that she didn’t was utterly ridiculous. Normally, he would have no problem believing her…

Stop this conversation before it goes too far. Before you can’t come back. Walk away.

Emmanuel pushed his anger down, listened to his inner voice, and walked away into the closet. He stayed longer than he should have… willed himself to calm down. Was she really being unreasonable? Hurt feelings aside. Three failed paternity tests had been put at the altar of their matrimony. In the grand scheme of things, the use of condoms didn’t change how much he loved her. By the time he was dressed, he had talked himself into a good… well, better place. He’d apologise for his tone and be more patient. God, Ivy extended that gift in spades. His step faltered as he entered the bedroom, to the sound of Ivy softly sobbing. That gutted him.

“I’m sorry, Doc.” He drew her into his arms and held her until the sobs subsided, giving way to soft hiccups.

“Manny,” Ivy called with such anguish, his throat tightened at her pain.

“I can’t stand what this is doing to us. I didn’t take the test to hurt you. Honestly, I didn’t want to take it, but this is all so much. I wasn’t honest with you. You kept asking if I was okay, and I so badly wanted to be. But none of this is okay. I feel so lost… fucking torn in half. I know you. You love me. My confidence… in you…in us… it sounds like the ultimate folly. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Emmanuel shook his head, then cleared his throat. “Yeah, I do.”

“Thank you for that.”

Ivy peeled herself out of his embrace, and his arms had never felt so empty.

“I don’t know how to handle this…” She paced before him, “…and I should have told you that. I’m sorry. So, sorry.”

Her apology didn’t sit right with him. Emmanuel didn’t deserve it. Didn’t need it… not from her. Not when she was doing her very best. She stopped pacing then and faced him. Her emotions pierced him and gave him an eerie realisation. Her apology wasn’t for anything she had done…fuck, it was for what she was about to do.

Chapter Ten

IT IS COMPLICATED

“I can’t keep doing this… It’s just too much.” Ivy’s eyes were still red and watery. Yes, Emmanuel had been going through hell, but so was she. He’d let the stupid test and condoms make him lose sight of that. The guilt lodged in his throat.

Emmanuel opened his mouth to ask why she hadn’t told him, but stopped. At this point, it didn’t matter. In that small civil ceremony, he had promised to protect her and be her champion. Somehow, he’d lost sight of that. Standing, he walked over to her and stopped. The way she looked up, as if begging him to make it right, left no doubt. He didn’t have the answers, but at least he could hold her. Ivy didn’t hesitate to walk into his open arms.

They stood there for a moment, neither moving nor saying a word. Finally, he asked the question he should have been asking. “What do you need, Doc?”

She tensed in his arms.

“No. Please don’t shut down. You have never hesitated in letting me know what you needed. Don’t allow this situation to take that from us, too.”

Ivy took one step back, then another, until she was an arm’s length away. Emmanuel took her hands and laced his fingers with hers.

“Go on, tell me,” he asked, but a part of him already knew the answer. Almost… dreaded hearing the words.

“I feel like I’ve been torn in half since the second set of test. I need space to process.”

Space. The word detonated between them.

“What kind of space do you need? Are you talking… about me staying in another room…” Emmanuel trailed off. Ivy was shaking her head. The tears returned to her eyes again. Too many tears. It was one of the hardest things he had to say, but it had to be done. “You need me to go?”

At first, she didn’t respond, didn’t move a muscle. Emmanuel didn’t push… just waited. After her hands shook slightly in his, she nodded. A beat later, Ivy whispered, “yeah. I think so.”

They had never been apart. It had never even been a close call. Decades of rushing back home… to her. Home.

This home.

Their home.

Emmanuel had fucking asked what she needed. Ivy had told him. He took some comfort in the fact that it seemed to hurt her as much as it hurt him.

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