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“This is the first journal I read last night. Here.” He thrust it at Manny, who took it and gingerly placed it on the table in front of him. Her husband stared at the journal, his hand hovering over it.

Leonardo unpacked the rest of the journals. He took one for himself and held it to his chest. Then gestured to the remaining journals. Gordy, then Frank, and finally Ivy reached for one.

Ivy opened the journal. The lines on the page had faded, yet the ink remained bold. Like the consistent, delicate, legible words needed their words to be heard. Ivy had selected the seventh journal. The words she read were those of a woman drowning in regret. Regret for giving up a baby and not being a better mom to the child she kept. At times, she seemed to succumb to the need to numb her pain. The penmanship changed, and the brief entries turned into one-liners. Sometimes she didn’t complete the sentences. Ivy became immersed in the words. Concetta’s pain was palpable.

When it became too much, she looked up at the other occupants at the table. Ivy had lost track of time. It surprised her to learn that four hours had passed. Frank and Gordy were still reading, but from their expressions, the words contained on the pages of the journal were getting to them as well.

Manny looked ashen. He looked up and their gazes locked. He shook his head, shrugged, and closed the journal. Then he pushed it away from him as if it was too much to bear.

“Do you need a break, Manny?”

Despite the vacant look in his eyes, he answered, “no, I am fine.”

“And you Leonardo? What about you?”

Leonardo looked surprised that she addressed him. It seemed to be the reprieve he needed.

“I need to take a break. Can we pack up for a couple of hours?”

Everyone agreed they could benefit from the break.

Ivy and Manny agreed to head back up to their room. He was quiet as he held onto her hand. “Would you like me to order you something to eat when we get back to the room?”

“No, Doc. I can’t eat anything.”

As soon as they entered the room, Manny removed his shoes, socks, and shirt. He stopped at the washroom and relieved himself. Then sat on the sofa. Ivy used the washroom before taking a seat beside him. He immediately placed his head on her lap. She played in his hair and silently offered him comfort.

“Doc, she went through so much. I think having to give me up drove her to become an addict.” His voice was full of anguish.

Ivy’s heart broke for him. At every turn, another secret was unearthed, and it was wearing him down.

“Oh, Manny. What happened to your mother wasn’t your fault.”

“I was so angry at her for giving me up. I didn’t think what it was like for her. What kind of man does that make me?”

“A human one. You have been lied to, and it’s okay if you’re hurt by it.”

“Doc, why does it sound like you are making a case for therapy?”

“I really wasn’t.” She told him.

“I was teasing. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have been able to get through all of this.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Ivy assured him. “Any closer to finding out who your birth father might be?”

“No, not from the journal I was reading. She was protecting his identity, even in her journal. I think she was in love with him. Even though he hurt her. Any clues in your journal?”

“No. Not as to his identity. From the journal I read, it seemed like she was mad at him.”

They spent the rest of their break resting. Neither was up to eating. When they returned to the room, Ivy read the first journal as Manny went on to the next. They read for a few hours.

The day seemed to wear on Manny.

“It’s been a tough day. I can’t read anymore.”

“Okay, let’s call it a night,” Leonardo announced. “Do you want to meet back here at the same time in the morning?”

It surprised Ivy when Manny declined.

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