Page 27 of Playing with Fire

She had been wondering if dating Beckett would be a problem, but the more time they spent together, the more Willa started to think that he was part of the solution. Trusting him was getting easier and easier, but it was her reliance on herself not to get too caught up in him that was still proving difficult. Maybe she could just let herself fall, but at the end of the day if things went poorly, the only person that would be there to catch Willa was Willa, and she wasn’t quite sure she was ready for that.

Chapter Seventeen

~Beckett~

After a rough shift in which he and the probie had to deal with a group of kids setting off fireworks in their school parking lot and not one, but two medical calls, Beckett wanted to do nothing more than climb into bed with Willa and hold her in his arms, letting her presence wash away the tension of the day. The kids had been an easy enough call to handle. After reading them the riot act for not only doing something illegal but also dangerous seeing as how they had some of the more powerful explosives on them, he and Dale confiscated the rest of their haul and sent them home to their parents.

They could have called the sheriff over or fined the parents, but usually with younger kids they start them off with a warning while also getting their information in case of future incidents. The group of wannabe pyros grumbled and complained, asking why they could buy fireworks but not set them off. It was a reasonable question, but Beckett didn’t want to get into the finer points of the state wanting the tax money but not the fire hazard and just sent them on their merry way.

While that call had been routine, the medical calls were what had really gotten to Beckett that day. Most of the time the calls were pretty uneventful, always someone thinking they were having a heart attack and it only being heartburn or gas, or maybe someone tripping over a fallen tree and needing a little bandaging until they could get to the doctor. Those calls were quickly handled with no unpleasantness. On other days, like today, things could be a bit more serious and didn’t roll off your back quite as easily.

The first call was to Old Man Werther’s house where they found him at the bottom of his stairs, and after a cursory examination, they had determined that he’d broken his hip. Athis age, that type of injury could be a death sentence, and even though they’d managed to get an ambulance to take him to the urgent care one town away, Beckett still worried that his recovery might not go the way he hoped it would. The man was practically a town staple at every event, his toothy grin and bald head easy to spot amongst the others. It would be a shame to lose him. That call had been tough, but the other had been far worse.

The manager of one of the older apartment complexes in town called the station when he couldn’t get the door to one of his residences open despite it being unlocked. The tenant had been overdue on rent and when the manager had come to collect, it was like the door had been blocked. The minute Beckett and the probie approached the door, he knew what they were going to find. It wasn’t often that the scent of death and decay hit his nose, but when it did, Beckett always had the same reaction. His body would stiffen in an instant as he readied himself to see something awful.

After informing the manager to call the county coroner, the two men pried open the door as gingerly as possible, trying not to disturb anything anymore than they’d had to. Once inside, they opened a few windows and covered the older woman’s body with a sheet before sending up a silent prayer that her exit from this world had been as painless as possible. From the state of things, she’d likely had a heart attack before collapsing, but that was just Beckett’s educated guess paired with some wishful thinking.

Even knowing she most likely went easily hadn’t made having to witness it any easier, and after heaving up most of his lunch around the side of the building, the probie spent the drive back to the station quieter than a mouse. The man was usually fairly chatty, wanting to fill any silence with a joke or some of his awful music. This time Dale simply stared out the window,most likely contemplating what every firefighter did at one time or another:am I cut out for this?

The question had gone through Beckett’s mind a few times over the course of his career, but for him, the answer was alwaysyes. As hard as this job could be at times, he wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. It was a heavy burden, but Beckett’s shoulders were strong enough to carry it. That didn’t mean it never affected him, and after the events of the day, he was looking forward to seeing Willa soon. She was a fighter, the same as him, so she would understand better than anyone how he was feeling.

With a heavy sigh, Beckett pushed open the door to the apartment, nodding at his brother as he sat at the kitchen counter, his fingers flying over the keys of his laptop. Strolling past Nate, Beckett walked up to the stainless steel fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, downing the whole thing in seconds. The cool liquid hydrated his bone-dry throat and perked him up slightly. There were times when the job got so crazy that Beckett forgot to eat or drink, and that had been especially true today.

Nate’s eyes widened as they gave Beckett a once over before understanding dawned on his face. “Rough shift?”

A humorless laugh filled the empty space between them. “You could say that,” Beckett replied.

Scanning the place, he took in the dark gray walls, gold lighting fixtures, and modular furniture. Normally, he found the space too clean looking and much too formal, but tonight the somewhat somber atmosphere was almost comforting, like a cool, quiet cave that Beckett could just slip into and feel his feelings without interruption or judgement.

Nate smiled sadly. “Want to talk about it?” Normally his answer would be yes, but Beckett didn’t want to have to go through his day more than he had to and as much as he loved his brother and had taken advantage of his listening skills in thepast, he wanted to save it for Willa.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll let my girl comfort me this time.” Even the thought of it made Beckett feel marginally better already, so by the time he would get to cradle her warm body against his, he had the feeling he would be almost back to normal.

The slow bob of Nate’s head and his thoughtful expression drew Beckett’s eyes to him. “Things seem to be getting serious between you two.”

“I guess you could say that.” Beckett would sayexactlythat if he knew where he stood with Willa.

The feelings on his end were nothing but serious, but he knew Willa might need more time to get there. What happened with her ex seemed to crop up every now and then, something Beckett didn’t expect would go away anytime soon, not that he minded it happening. If anything, it made him feel good that he could be there for her whether it was with reassuring words or a comforting hug. Being able to provide that for Willa made Beckett feel more accomplished than fourteen years at the fire department had.

Nate raised a brow at him as he scratched his beard. “You guess or you know?” he asked, giving Beckett a pointed look. “It’s not like you to guess at anything. You charge into things full throttle, sure, but you also usually get the lay of the land pretty quickly when you do.”

The accurate assessment of his past actions made Beckett’s skin itch, but as much as that used to be him, this was different. “I can’t be that way with Willa,” he told his brother. “You know that.” Everything she’d told him about her ex had stayed just between the two of them, but while Beckett had spared them the details, he had told all of his brothers that she was cautious when it came to relationships.

If anyone should understand that it was the man in frontof him. With the exception of Felix and himself, the rest of Beckett’s brothers seemed to survive off hookups or nothing at all. Aiden was too much of a grump for a woman to stand for more than one night, Beckett didn’t think Travis could make it through an entire date unless it was in the quiet of the orchard, and Nate was too busy trying to make the world a better place to give time to a relationship.

Nate dismissed Beckett’s words with a flick of his wrist. “Sure, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find out where you stand. Just talk to her about it.”

Beckett considered it for a moment, wondering if he shouldn’t just bring it up. “Maybe. Not sure my need for that is more important than her comfort, though.” Willa’s needs mattered, a lot, and Beckett knew his own did too, but somehow he wasn’t sure he could put his above hers, at least in this instance.

Nate nodded as he shut his laptop. “You’re used to being the big sacrifice guy,” he said, clasping Beckett’s shoulder. “Just make sure you don’t bury who you really are. That’s who she likes to begin with.”

Grabbing Nate, Beckett pulled him into a hug and ruffled his hair, much to the younger man’s dismay. “Thanks, baby brother.”

When Nate finally managed to escape his clutches, he scowled. His hair stuck out at odd angles, but the corners of his mouth twitching betrayed his true feelings. “Fucker,” he muttered, shoving Beckett lightly. His fingers ran through his hair as he tried and failed to set it right. “Do I look okay? I have a dinner to get to.”

“A date?” Beckett asked hopefully. Before he could get too excited on his brother’s behalf, Nate was shaking his head.

“No, it’s a working dinner. I want to talk to the heads of the downtown business association about doing an art walk orfoodie walk once a month to get people out of their houses and into some shops. Nightlife here isn’t exactly anything to brag about.”

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