Page 2 of Playing with Fire

The man would know, seeing as how he’d been married for nearly thirty years to his high school sweetheart, but he was one of the lucky ones. Trilby had met his person when he was seventeen years old. He didn’t know what it was like to look for something only to never find it, to stare out into the inky black sky, counting the stars while he wished for someone and wondered if they were out there doing the same thing you were. But Beckett could ponder later on when he was alone in the closet that doubled as his room at the station, not when he was on the job.

The screwdriver hit the toolbox with a dullclankas Beckett dropped it back in. “So you say, old man.” Slapping the chief on the back, Beckett stood, stretching his neck and shoulders as he geared up for another long shift. “But I’ll know real love when I see it.” It would hit him with the same clarity he’d had the night of the orchard fire. Of that he was certain.

Trilby rolled his eyes. “Whatever, just don’t say I never tried to impart some wisdom on your young, stubborn ass,” he griped, tipping his head at the probie. “At least someone around here appreciates me.” Dale shot a confused gaze their way before smiling and nodding like the good little soldier he was. With amock sigh, Chief Trilby wiped his face, shook his head, and got back to work. “My experience is wasted on you two.”

Chuckling, Beckett walked over to the alert office and did another check of the computer aided dispatch system to make sure it was still up and running, smiling when he saw a lit screen. From there he went about inspecting the integrity of the oxygen tanks, taking as much time as necessary with it since it could literally be the difference between life and death for one of the crew. He’d yet to be on a call where the tanks were more than just a precautionary measure, but you never knew. Parts of this town were older than dirt. All it would take was one rogue spark to light them up. After praying that it would never happen, Beckett finished his inspection and made his way into the kitchen. When he caught sight of a piece of yellow paper taped to the fridge, he grumbled.

“You’re too young to be grumbling like that already, Kemp. Save it for us older fellas,” Chief Trilby chortled as he entered the room. His cloth grew black as he attempted to wipe away the oil and grease from his fingers. His eyes raked over the same note Beckett was currently staring at. “Ah, I get it now.”

“Yeah, now you get it.” Snatching the paper off the fridge, Beckett grabbed the keys for the station truck and headed toward the door. Jude Friedman, the only firefighter currently off duty, had neglected to fulfill the grocery order. Beckett would have been pissed if he wasn’t too busy being envious as to the reason for Jude’s forgetfulness. The man was a newlywed and his wife was five months pregnant. Jude had a horrible case of baby on the brain and Beckett could only imagine it would get worse as the due date approached, but it was hard to fault the guy for caring about his family so much. Beckett would probably be the same way if it were him. “Do you think you could stick around another half hour while I do the shop run?”

Chief Trilby nodded, a sad smile on his face. “Sure.” Hestuffed the soiled cloth into his back pocket. “And I’ll talk to Freidman. He can’t be slacking on the job like that.”

Not envious of the reprimand Friedman was going to get, Beckett nodded and opened the back door. The slightly cooler air of late spring was a welcome change from the warmth and humidity of the firehouse. “Go easy on him,” Beckett called over his shoulder. “He’s in love and starting a family. Can’t exactly fault him for having his head in the clouds.” As he walked to the truck, the sun shone on his face. Beckett couldn’t help but smile back up at it, hoping that someday, that man with the head in the clouds would be him.

Chapter Two

~Willa~

Rolling green hills still shining with dew from the crisp morning weather and leafy trees greeted Willa as she pushed her car from one county to the next. The drive from Florida had been a long and sometimes arduous one. She knew going in that a solo, forty-six hour trip wasn’t going to be all fun and games, but she didn’t expect the seemingly permanent numbness in her ass and the crick in her lower back from sitting almost all day over the last week.

Apparently, all it took was a few hours on the road to turn her body, strong and lithe from a steady routine of yoga and Pilates, into one of an octogenarian. Stretching her neck and shoulders as much as she could while keeping a firm grip on the steering wheel, Willa tried to remind herself why the aches and pains that had accompanied her on the almost week-long journey were worth it.

Leaving Florida had been crucial to Willa’s survival. While she had been physically safe from harm in the sunshine state, her mental health was almost always in danger. Jeff, her ex and one of the biggest assholes known to man, still lived in Orlando where, up until last week, Willa had also resided. Though they had been broken up for more than a year, there were still traces of him all over the city, acting as little landmines that would blow up in Willa’s face when she least expected them to.

Boom!A memory of getting told she looked “cheap” in her dress whenever she walked past her former favorite night club would throw her for a loop.Bam!Being called “ridiculous” for accidentally leaving her phone on the kitchen counter had her stumbling at the sight of the same color granite at the home improvement store.Kablooey!Arriving at one of her favoriteeateries would turn into her staving off a panic attack when everything on the menu screamed at her about calories, fat content, and how much exercise she would have to do to “earn it.” Toxic remnants of her old relationship were sprinkled all over the place. No amount of therapy, meditation, or breathing exercises could get Willa to unsee them.

The relationship with Jeff hadn’t always been so awful, but Willa should have realized that it wasn’t healthy a lot sooner. It started off as normally as any other relationship would have, with the two of them having met at the gym. Jeff had set up his stretching mat next to Willa’s and struck up a conversation about Disney World when he noticed the faded cartoon mouse on her workout shirt. When she had mentioned that she hadn’t once visited the theme park despite having lived in Orlando for the better part of five years, Jeff claimed it was an egregious mistake that he would fix immediately. Two days later, he took her there on their first date.

The whole place had been as magical as the commercials claimed it to be, and the entire day had felt like her very own fairy tale come true. An attractive, successful guy was on Willa’s arm the entire time, using his connections as a hedge fund manager to get them into the nicest restaurants at the resort when normally they were booked out for months in advance, spoiling her with big purchases at the gift shops, and not once paying attention to anyone else. He’d only had eyes for her, and when the kiss they’d shared at the end of the night knocked her socks off, Willa thought it was the beginning of something wonderful.

From that first date, things progressed simply enough. They saw each other more often, and time seemed to fly by with Jeff taking her out on more elaborate dates as more of Willa’s belongings started to find a home in his lavish apartment. She’d even met his parents. The older couple had seemed pleasant atfirst, though Willa never felt at ease in their presence with Jeff’s father always seeming a little too controlling of his mother. He would order his wife to refill his drink and she would wait until he started eating before taking a bite for herself.

The odd behavior never sat right with Willa, but she hadn’t thought more on it. In hindsight, it was the first of many red flags that she’d chosen to ignore, either out of fear of making a mistake by leaving when Jeff seemed so good for her or maybe what it said about her if she stayed despite seeing things for what they really were. Willa would later come to realize that Jeff’s parents were probably why her relationship with their son eventually evolved to look eerily similar, because he’d only had them as an example growing up, letting it mold how he viewed love and women.

After dating for six months, Jeff moved her into his apartment, his logic that they spent most of their time together anyway making sense to Willa despite her still wanting to have her own space. Any unease she felt was pushed aside because it was a smart move financially and more than that, it would be stupid to pass on such a great guy, right? Everyone told her how lucky she had been to land him and what a great catch her boyfriend was due to his money and connections, so she moved in. Two months later when she lost her job as an administrative assistant, Jeff told her to just work for him. He worked from home most days. This way, they could spend more time together. Again, it had sounded like a good idea at the time, logical even, so Willa went along with it, not knowing it was the start of a slow slide into something very unhealthy.

Soon Jeff chose Willa’s clothes to make her look more “professional” whenever she would accompany him to the office or to dinner, insisting that the two of them only workout in his apartment gym and not the one they’d met at because it was “more private,” and ordering meal kits instead of eating at theirfavorite restaurants to “keep themselves slim.” All of the changes had been made incrementally, so Willa didn’t truly notice any of it until she had been talking to her good friend Lottie, who had mentioned her recent trip to Seattle to go see a musical.

It had been an innocent statement, Lottie filling her in on something notable that had occurred since the last time they had talked, but it shook something loose in Willa’s brain. Other than going to the office with Jeff and another trip to Disney World, she hadn’t left his apartment in almost a month. He ordered groceries and called a housekeeper to tidy the space. Meanwhile, Willa would stay home and do nothing more than serve his coffee, iron his shirts, and praise him for all of his hard work.

As Lottie continued to tell Willa about her short vacation, she tried to remember when she had last been outside, felt the sun on her face and breathed in the ocean air, recalling all the times she mentioned wanting to go out only for Jeff to make some excuse as to why she had to stay, why the world outside his apartment was no good for her unless he could be there for protection. He had framed it as being in Willa’s best interest, but really it had been about controlling her. Willa had slipped into her new role as submissive, doting partner slowly. Yet the realization that she had become a shadow of her former self hit her like a ton of bricks.

Willa had dropped the phone while Lottie was still talking, remembering the call only after eventually hearing the panic in her friend’s voice reaching out through the speaker as Willa sobbed into her hands. Once she’d calmed down enough to talk, she told Lottie what she had discovered about herself and jumped to her feet when Lottie told her to pack up her things and leave immediately. Willa had kept Lottie on the line as she rushed around the apartment, trying to grab whatever was hers and throw it in a bag, only to discover that most of the “pre-Jeff” belongings she’d owned had either been donated or disposed ofwithout her knowledge or consent.

Grateful that she at least had the good sense to always keep a stash of cash on hand for emergencies in her dresser, Willa grabbed the money, enough clothes to get her through however long she needed until she could find a new job, and left. To say that the weeks and months after her departure had been rough would be an understatement. There had been a lot of arguing with Jeff, him trying to convince her that she was making a mistake and harassing her with phone calls and unannounced visits to the point of Willa taking out a restraining order against him, and a lot of struggling to find a job as she slept in her childhood bedroom.

It didn’t help that Willa’s mom pestered her every day about why she left such a great guy. Willa had gone from one bad situation to another, albeit slightly better one. Only when she got a job with a temp agency and started going to therapy did Willa start to feel better. Getting out and into the real world again did wonders for her. Her therapist helped her realize that, while there may have been some red flags that Willa had ignored, what happened with Jeff wasn’t her fault and she could move past it. She had started to, but after living with her parents in the same city that held a lot of awful memories and very few good ones, Willa decided she needed a fresh start.

It only took one phone call to Lottie and mention of wanting a change for her friend to offer up one of her spare rooms to Willa. She and Lottie had been roommates during their freshman year in college. They became best friends instantly, and stayed that way, despite Lottie moving back home to her small town during their sophomore year, and Willa staying at Florida State to finish her degree. Willa was so glad that they had kept in touch, even more so when she realized that she could start fresh with a friend by her side. Washington was going to be a big change from sun-drenched Florida, but she was readyto say bon voyage to warm weather and embrace the dampness of the Pacific Northwest if it meant getting to start over. As a bonus, she had gotten to see a lot of the country along the way.

The drive had taken Willa through major cities she had never visited before, past huge landmarks like the St. Louis Arch and Mt. Rushmore, things she had only seen in pictures, but more impressive than any of those had been the sheer amount of beautiful landscape that she had driven through. Grasslands, prairies, mountains, forests, rivers, and lakes. It had all been gorgeous. The time it took to move across the country had been exactly what she needed to clear her head of all the mess that was left behind from the time she and Jeff were together.

Willa knew the work of accepting what happened and moving past it would never really be done, but she had come a long way. There were still the occasional triggers for her, but she navigated them much more easily now. Of course, she hadn’t even been on a date since the end of that relationship, too nervous about falling back into something toxic, but Willa was sure she would get thereeventually. Hopefullyeventuallycame soon because, while she wasn’t sure she was ready for a real relationship, she had started to feel a bit lonely. Company of the male variety was something she sorely missed.

Willa’s phone chimed just as she approached the border of Applewood, the small town she would now call home. Chuckling at her best friend’s always impeccable timing, Willa accepted the call she knew was from Lottie without a single glance away from the road. “Do you have a tracker on my car or what?”

An excited gasp preceded the smoky voice of her best friend. “Why? Are you close? Oh my God, Willa, I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am that you’re going to be my roommate again. I love my house and I love my town, but it will be so much more fun having you here with me.”

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