Page 68 of Cruel Vows

“I wish I knew.”

Rebecca sighs. “I wish that you could have the life you want.”

“If I’m being honest, I didn’t have it even before the marriage. I was working on getting it, but Aiden had me using the clinic to clean up his men after fights.” I bite the inside of my cheeks, trying to hold back the wave of emotions crashing over me. “If there was one thing I could do, it would be nursing. I miss it, but it’s impossible with the security team.”

Her hand closes over my ankle as my eyes open. “One of these days, he’s going to see what’s for the best. I promise.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Getting more involved with Sean is dangerous. It’s a dark world and he thrives in it. I saw the look on his face after he killed the man who hurt me. He liked it.

And while there was something attractive about knowing that he would do everything in his power to keep me safe, there’s also a little voice in the back of my mind nagging away at me.

That little voice keeps telling me that I’m going to spend the rest of my life trapped in a marriage with a man who will protect me, but he’ll never love me. He’ll never give me the space I need to be myself.

All I’ve ever wanted is my freedom, but now it feels like I’m never going to get it.

19

SEAN

“You needto figure out this shit with your wife because it is eating away at her, and sooner or later, she’s going to become a shell of a human and you’re going to hate yourself for ruining her.”

I glance up from the paperwork in front of me, staring at Rebecca, trying to process everything she just said. “What?”

“I just spent the afternoon with Ellie and it’s clear that she’s dying inside.” Rebecca slings her beige canvas tote higher up on her shoulder, her eyes narrowing. “She misses the life she used to have before she was stuck with you.”

“Nobody is keeping her from that life.” I shove back from the desk, some of the pens scattered on the desk mat falling to the ground when the chair leg slams into the desk. “Why are you in our business?”

“I’ve known her for years, Sean. You seem to forget that. I know what she was like before the marriage, and I can see what she’s like now. She’s not the same person she used to be.”

Rebecca is voicing out loud everything I’ve been thinking and I hate it.

I hoped that the differences in Ellie were only ones I’ve been noticing. Something to do with me and the way she treats me.

The last thing I wanted was for this marriage to ruin her life.

I sigh and round the desk, swiping the keys from the corner. “Look, I know things are rough between me and her right now. I know that I need to work on them, but I don’t have time to do that right now.”

“You need to make the time.”

“What the hell did she say to you out there to make you come charging in here like this?”

Rebecca scoffs. “I’m not going to tell you every detail about my private conversation with your wife. I shouldn’t even be telling you this much, but I’m doing it because you’re my brother and I care about you. I want you to be happy.”

“I’m happy enough. I have a house of my own and several businesses all over the world.” I perch on the edge of my desk, crossing one leg over the other. “The marriage is fine. We’re friendly.”

“Don’t you think that a marriage between two people needs more than justfriendly?” She says the word like it’s poison, and maybe it is.

Friendliness with Ellie seems to be teetering on a thin line of liking each other and hating each other, but the relationship doesn’t want to shift one way or another.

I can feel the tension there, like both of us are holding our breath and waiting for the other to make a decision on what we’re going to be.

Rebecca sighs and crosses her arms like she’s disappointed in me. “Sometimes you really are clueless. I think you need to take a step back, Sean. Figure out how to make this marriage good for both of you; otherwise, you’re just going to keep resenting each other.”

“You don’t know what our marriage needs.”

“I sat with Ellie for hours. I talked to her about everything under the sun and I know that she misses her life. She wants to be a nurse and live like a normal person.”

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