Page 45 of Cruel Vows

“Do whatever you want, Ellie.” I pull on my wet clothing, hating the feeling of it against my skin, and grab my keys. “You always do anyway.”

12

ELLIE

The door slams shut,gold picture frames rattling on the walls.

As soon as he’s gone, I sink down onto the couch with my head in my hands, body numb with pleasure while my mind goes to war with itself.

I don’t know which was the bigger mistake: sleeping with him or telling him to sleep with other people.

For a moment, I consider getting up and going after him, telling him that I didn’t mean what I said. That I was angry and lashing out.

It wouldn’t change anything, though. We’re two different people and there’s too much water under that broken bridge to repair.

This would all be easier if we could just get along with each other for more than a day or two.

With a sigh and an ache in my chest where my heart should be, I get to my feet and climb the creaking stairs to my room.

As soon as I’m in my room, I rip open my drawers, pulling out a hoodie and a pair of leggings.

The moment I’m dressed, I take my smallest suitcase out of the closet, packing a couple sets of clothing that won’t be soaked through like my overnight bag downstairs.

The walls feel like they’re closing in around me as I go to the washroom and clean off the streaks of mascara running down my cheeks. Whether they’re from the sex or from the pouring rain, I don’t know.

All I do know is that I need to get out of here for a night or two.

I need time to gather my thoughts and figure things out while the life I built crumbles around me.

It started as a few stones falling, and now it seems like those stones have a jackhammer going at them daily.

I’m not going to stand here and put up with the infidelity like Mom did. Throughout those years before Dad died, all she did was pull back into herself. She became a shell of a mother, focused on numbing the pain instead of caring for her children.

My life isn’t going to be anything like hers.

There’s a knock on the door before it opens and Kara steps into the room. There’s confusion written on her face as she looks between me and the suitcase propped on the bed.

Kara sighs, closing the door and leaning against it. ‘I don’t know what you think you’re about to do, Ellie, but you need to put the suitcase away.”

I step back into the bedroom, the sharp stab of betrayal still strong. “Are you here as my friend or my gatekeeper?”

A flash of guilt crosses her face, her shoulders slumping. “I didn’t want to stop you the last time, Ellie, but you’re only putting yourself in more danger. You have to think about these things.”

“When did you become this person?” My voice breaks as I look at her.

For as long as I can remember, she’s been my bodyguard, but she’s also been my best friend. The Kara I used to know wouldn’t tell me to stay in a place that feels like it’s suffocating me.

I’m too old to be constantly babysat like this.

“I’m humiliated, Kara, and I deserve better than what Sean is giving me. I deserve to be happy.”

Her face softens, sympathy in her eyes even though she doesn’t move away from the door. “I know that this is hell for you right now, but you need to take a step back. You didn’t marry for love.”

“And that’s just the tip of the goddamn iceberg of everything that’s wrong with my life right now.”

She takes a couple steps closer to me, but the sympathy is gone from her eyes. Instead, she looks like she’s trying to figure out a way to subdue me.

It’s not going to work this time.

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