Page 66 of Cruel Vows

I sigh, patting the top of her foot. “I know you mean well, but I don’t think I can go out yet. I want to—I’m going insane here—but it feels like stepping out that door is just going to be asking for another attack.”

Her smile softens, the corner of her eyes crinkling. “I know this is scary as hell. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, and I know that it’s going to take a long time to fully heal, but you can’t let it hold you back.”

“I feel like I’m safe here.”

Although, that doesn’t feel quite right either. I haven’t been able to set foot in my own room. I’ve been sleeping in Sean’s bed every night, but even with him there, I still wake up in the middle of the night screaming.

Rebecca shifts to the edge of the lounger, leaning closer to me. “Sean has to be annoying the hell out of you. I know he is. He’s nothing but difficult.”

Laughing, I shrug. “He hasn’t been so bad.”

She gives me a flat look, one eyebrow arching. “Come on, tell the truth. I know that he’s a lot.”

“Fine, he’s a little overbearing. He keeps hovering over me when he’s home like he thinks something is going to happen. He always has a security guard within eyeshot, and I’m sure there are more that I can’t see.”

“That sounds like all the more reason to get back out there and live your life. He’ll back off once you prove that you can handle this.”

I get up and cross the white stone patio to the intricate white and gold tiles that line the pool, sitting on the edge and dangling my feet in the water.

Rebecca gets up and sits beside me, her drink in her hand. “You know, I think you’re strong as hell for going through this.”

I sip the margarita, letting the tequila chase away some of the tension in my body. “Thanks.”

“It’s the truth. You married a man you don’t like. You’ve been attacked twice in a short amount of time, but you’re still hereand still standing. That has to count for something, and I think you need to realize that. You have done everything you can to make sure that you’re going to be okay.”

“I was forced to get married.” The words sound strangled coming out of my mouth. It feels like I should still be angry about the marriage, but in the past several weeks, I’ve seen new sides of Sean that I haven’t seen before.

It’s terrifying.

“Noah can’t control your life forever,” Rebecca says softly as she traces patterns in the water with her foot.

I finish off the margarita and set the fluted glass to the side. “I’ve been thinking about getting out of here, but every time I do, all I see is those men taking me after I got out of work. Except it’s worse.”

“You have to trust the people watching over you.”

“I was never supposed to have people watching over me. I was supposed to get out of this life. Spend time being a nurse and helping people. Moving as far away from the mafia as I could and not looking back.”

“Well, I know about that, and it never works as well as you think it will.” She nudges me gently with her elbow. “You have to admit that living in a place like this is nice.”

“It’s something straight out of a movie, but there has to be more to life than a nice house and power over other people.” I send a small wave of water flying across the pool. “I miss nursing. I miss my life. I’m tired of being trapped under men’s thumbs, waiting for them to decide that I can or can’t do something.”

Her smile is sympathetic as she leans into me, putting her head on my shoulder. “Everything is going to be fine in the end. You’ll see that. Sean isn’t a controlling man. Not in his regular life. It’s just with the danger with Noah, he’s worse.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to see that.” I press my lips together, wishing that I was anywhere else right now. “Sometimes. He avoids me a lot unless it’s the middle of the night. I’m tired of being alone in this house.”

“I thought he was home most days.”

“In the cottage at the other end of the property. He’s told me that I’m not allowed to go down there. Not after I was there when he and Aiden were fighting and killing the man who hurt me.”

“Yeah, he’s having a hard time with Aiden right now.”

“My brother is an overbearing dick sometimes. He thinks that everyone needs to bend to his will, and he isn’t willing to let people do otherwise.”

Rebecca laughs and sits up straight before sliding into the water. She submerges her head, dark hair flowing out around her until she pops back up. “We both have families who like to be a bit overbearing.”

“I know.” I grin and get up, moving to the platform in the shallow end where the loungers are partially submerged in the water. I still have to keep the cuts on my shoulder out of the water, so the loungers are as close to swimming as I’m going to get.

“Just grin and bear it for now, and when things get better, you can start pressing him about moving on with your life. That’s what I do with Dad.”

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