Page 8 of Forecasting the Forward

NerdGirl1025: As long as it’s knitting. I can’t stand crocheting.

StickUM92: *adds learn to knit to to-do list*

NerdGirl1025: Are you trying to impress me, Norma?

StickUM92: What man — I mean, grandmother — wouldn’t want to impress a pretty girl?

NerdGirl1025: How do you know I’m pretty? I could be a middle-aged man with a horrible receding hairline and a beer belly that sticks out of my shirt along the waistline, no matter how hard I try to tuck it in.

StickUM92: Are you tucking your shirt in, or your belly in? Because that is incredibly important information.

NerdGirl1025: My belly, obviously. Duh.

StickUM92: YES. It’s going to go so well with my gout when I shove my old feet in your lap.

NerdGirl1025: You can’t. I have to go take out my teeth to soak them for the night.

StickUM92: Watch it, baby. A toothless mouth may not be a bad thing.

NerdGirl1025: But you’re a grandmother, not some guy looking for a place to shove his wiener. Which I very much am, by the way. A dude. Shoving my wiener into you.

StickUM92: Oh, I plan to roll up my boob and shove it in your gummy mouth. Side note: don’t call it a wiener. Dick, cock, length, whatever. Never a wiener.

NerdGirl1025: I’ll call my middle-aged wiener whatever I want.

StickUM92: Does that mean I get to call my titties whatever I want?

NerdGirl1025: By all means.

StickUM92: I’ll get back to you on that. I need to think about it.

NerdGirl1025: I get it. Took me a while to name mine.

StickUM92: Yours have names?

NerdGirl1025: Of course.

StickUM92: Don’t hold back on me now, NerdGirl. I need to know.

NerdGirl1025: Thelma and Louise.

StickUM92: 100% nowhere close to what I thought you’d say.

NerdGirl1025: What did you think I’d say?

StickUM92: Something cute or sweet. Like Vanilla Cupcake and Frosting.

NerdGirl1025: You know, I had thought about Cupcake and Frosting, but went with Thelma and Louise instead. Bummer.

StickUM92: Missed opportunity, NerdGirl. Such a missed opportunity.

NerdGirl1025: I’ll consider applying to the boob administration and ask for a name change whenever you tell me what your dick’s name is.

StickUM92: Thank you for not calling it a wiener.

NerdGirl1025: If you don’t tell me its name, I’ll revert back to wiener.

StickUM92: Noted.

---