Page 76 of Veil of Death and Shadow

It took me a moment to track which answer went with which question, especially because he conveniently ignored the first two. “How can you not know if hell is real but also be sure this isn’t it.”

He swallowed, and I hated how intently my eyes tracked the movement. “I’ve been to realms far worse than this one. So either this isn’t hell, or the definition of hell as you know it is an incorrect one.”

I walked to the door, turned the sign back to closed, locked it, and then sat at the booth opposite of him. “Why didn’t Sora see you? And why can I?”

“I don’t know.” He opened his eyes, tilting his head until his stare latched onto mine. “You’renot even supposed to be able to see me. You shouldn’t be able to see Claudine or Greta either. And I sure as hell don’t why you’re able to. You shouldn’t have even remembered our . . . encounter last week, or at least not that I was the one you had it with anyway. Like I said, you’re an unusual girl, Mareena. It’s a bit agonizing, but I imagine it has something to do with The Undoing. You must have absorbed some shadow magic that day, and it’s given you this unfortunate sixth sense into the world of the dead.”

“Ren and Lenora saw you.”

His brows furrowed.

“The couple from the other night. They,” I felt the blush creeping up my neck, “the ones that invited us to the private room.” My stomach sank. “Oh god. Are they dead too?”

“Oh,” he said, “them. That night was different. I was on,” his nose scrunched up, “vacation of sorts.”

“Vacation? Guardian angels get vacations?”

“Why? Shouldn’t we? Or do you expect us to be worked to the bone?” He grunted. “Fecking capitalism. Doesn’t even stop when you’re dead, eh?”

“I don’t know, do you even have bones?” I took a sip of tea, less because I was thirsty and more for something to do. “So you can turn it on and off then? The seeing and not seeing you thing?”

He shook his head, then held up one finger. “The boundary between our worlds is thinnest on the anniversary of The Undoing,” he added a second, “Incendiary functions as a bit of a catalyst for shadow magic, which is what my power pulls from, making it an ideal space to be corporeal,” a third, “and I used up all of my strength to sustain my body in the human realm that night. I won’t be strong enough for another proper foray into the world for a very long time.”

“But you look more—” I studied him, searching for a word, “I don’t know, more solid than Claudine? Once I knew to look for it, I mean—she seemed more ephemeral than you do.” I kicked my foot out beneath the table, testing a theory, and winced when it crashed into his shin with a little more enthusiasm than I’d been intending. “Sorry. I can still touch you, I mean. Claudine couldn’t touch me.”

“You’re my charge,” he shrugged. “You’re the only one I can touch without using up power I don’t have. And like I said, you’re unusual, Agony.”

“Okay, Casper,” I shot back, “say I believe you,” I fidgeted with my ring, focusing on the familiarity of it. “Why do I have a guardian angel? Why now?”

Why not when I’d needed one most. Why not when I lost Amto Amani? Or Rina? Or when Sora and I were barely scraping by those first few years on our own?

Relative to the rest of my life, I was actually doing okay right now. I was stable—more or less anyway. There were so many people in need of protection and guidance more than me.

He was silent for what felt like a much longer time than it probably was. “I’m here to help you lead a better life. A happier one.”

“I . . .” Whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t that. “Um, what?”

“You don’t have enough fun, I’m here to help you live a better version of the life you’re currently living. To push you to do things.”

“I like my life.”

“Do you?” He didn’t ask the question like it was an accusation or a challenge, but for some reason I couldn’t shake the feeling that’s what it was anyway. Then he reached forward, pointing to the space between my eyebrows. “Because you’ve also had that particular frown on your face all day. You seemed much more relaxed, some might even say happy, last week.”

“Last week was a kind of vacation for me, too,” I said. “And you’re starting to sound suspiciously like one of those guys who goes around telling women that they look prettier when they smile.”

“Your frown is just as pretty as your smile, Agony.”

“Stop calling me that.” I stood up, glaring down at him, as frustration flared from my chest to my feet.

“There she is,” he said, his mouth curving into a vicious grin. “I don’t think I will, actually. Now that I know it brings that out of you.”

“We can’t all just go fucking strangers outside of demon clubs every day of the week you know,” I said, ignoring his comment. “I have responsibilities. Not every single day has to be filled with euphoria.”

“Euphoria?” he asked. “Was last week euphoric for you then?”

“Oh, shut up.” I grabbed my empty teacup and took to tidying up the place. “My point is, I don’t want a . . .” I gestured at him. “One of you. A guardian angel. I’m good. Go fix someone else’s life. Someone who needs your . . . services.”

“That’s not quite how it works. I’m tethered to you until my job is done.”

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