Page 62 of Capitally Engaged

“Jax. It’s me.”

“Oh.”

Silence echoed through the vestibule as loudly as a jet engine taking off. I hit the button again.

“Please let me up.”

More silence, before a soft, “Okay,” accompanied by a buzzing noise, unlocking the door so I could enter.

The door to 2D sat cracked open slightly. I knocked and pushed the door open, spotting Jax pacing back and forth through the living room.

“Hey,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out for her. Seeing her acted as a balm for the part of me terrified since I realized she left. Anger and anxiety also churned in my gut—hurt that she would leave without talking to me and worry nothing I said would make a difference.

“Hi,” she said, stopping in her movements and turning to face me. Her eyes had dark shadows under them from lack of sleep, and her lip was red and swollen from her teeth. I wanted to bite that lip.

“How did you find me?” she asked, her arms wrapping around her midsection.

“Hayden mentioned margaritas last night, and I realized Michelle’s place was the most likely place for you to go. You probably looked for other sublets yesterday, but the idea of dealing with strangers felt too much, so you ran to the one familiar place you could.”

“Ha,” she laughed, the sound cold and void of emotion. “So you’ve got me all figured out. I assume you’ve got a solution to our situation all figured out, too. Does it matter what I want?”

“What?” I said, honestly bewildered. “Of course it matters what you want. If you really believe we have no way forward, then I’ll leave you alone. But I don’t believe that’s what you want. I wanted the chance to talk with you and figure something out together. That’s what hurt the most. You didn’t trust me to talk things through, to count on me to know myself and support you at the same time.”

“I don’t want you to resent me.” She burst out. “It’s easier to just end it now. That way you can have the career you want,achieve your goals, and I won’t stand in your way. I can’t be the reason you don’t succeed in the dreams you inherited from your mom. You can’t put that on me.” Jax’s voice broke at the mention of my mom, tears streaming down her face.

It physically pained me to not go to her. I put as much emotion into my voice as I could, wanting to make it impossible for her to not meet my eyes.

“Do you know what else I got from my mom? The idea that our family, our people are important. That’s why she cared about politics, about supporting causes. It was all about the people. I’ve lived twice as long without her as I did with her, but I’m certain she’d be so pissed at me if I let you go just because of a little hardship. There are lots of ways I can achieve the dream she left me. There are not a lot of ways I can imagine a happy life without you in it.”

I breathed heavily, like I had run a marathon. The surety I had in my words warmed me from the center, fighting away the cold dread of Jax’s distance. Now all I could do was wait to see if she believed me.

Chapter

Twenty-Four

Jax

“There are not a lot of ways I can imagine a happy life without you in it.”

I stared at Preston, stunned. Running away from real connection had been my way of life for so long. Keeping things superficial with coworkers or temporary roommates. Losing my parents and then losing Grandma, being left on my own. Those losses created a hurt I never wanted to feel again. While it hurt to think of losing Preston now, the thought of him deciding I was no longer worth the sacrifice, worth the effort, would break me to a point I might never recover from.

“You’re just saying that. It’s only been twelve hours. We’re not even sure what the fallout from the article will be. I’m sure in a few days...”

Preston crossed the room, gripping my arms in his hands. He held on tightly for a second, like he needed to be sure I was real and standing here. He loosened his grip, making sure I knew I could step away in an instant if I needed to. I could sense the effort it took to stop himself from touching me earlier and felt something ease inside me at his touch.

“We can’t know what the future holds. And I understand that’s terrifying. We both know that the people we love can be taken from us in an instant. I’m sorry you’ll never meet my mom, and I’ll never meet your parents or grandma. But the way you care about me...”

I opened my mouth to protest. He silenced me, putting a finger on my lips.

“I know you care a whole lot, Jax. You wouldn’t have run if you didn’t. But I’m certain they wouldn’t have wanted you to close yourself off from caring about and being cared for by others, just because of a fear you could lose them. We have a chance to chase our dreams. Have a happy-ever-after, like the ones you write in your books. I’d love for us to do it together.”

My face drew down in confusion. “I mean, I know the senator said I could keep my job, but I’m not really sure that’s my dream. Though it’s been lovely working there.” I got that last part out in a rush.

Preston chuckled. “Have you looked online at all since the story broke this morning?”

I shook my head. “I stuffed my phone between the couch cushions to stop myself from doom scrolling. I can handle the things they’ve said about me. I’ve been navigating my bad reviews for years. It was negative things about you I wanted to avoid.”

The smile that took over his face told me he saw to the heart of me. That he had crawled in through the cracks and crevices in the walls I built to keep people out. He filled those weak spots with care and kindness to help keep me protected, at the same time unlocking the door to allow those with the password to filter in and out freely. “I think you should go grab your phone. And check your Amazon author dashboard.”

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