Page 29 of Slick Handling

Plus, he said I’m beautiful.

I’ve never been beautiful before.

After having breakfast with Mickey and sharing so many laughs that my stomach starts to hurt. It feels like I’m not so alone in the house. Part of me is afraid he’s only being nice to me because everyone else doesn’t really want anything to do with me.

He offered to sit in with me for my Omega studies so I wasn’t alone but that felt like too much.

Maybe other Omegas like being around people all the time but so much of my life has been alone. I'm used to the time by myself and need it to recharge.

Sitting at the desk, I stare at the icon awaiting the professor to come into the chat. A second later, a beautiful dark skinned woman comes into view. Her hair is short to her head and decorated with a pretty patterned scarf. Her smile is so natural with so much joy across her face as her eyes bunch up with laugh lines.

She’s so pretty without trying. I wish I had worn a dress to this instead of the sherpa jacket and leggings I’m wearing.

“Hi Clover, I’m Saniya! I’m going to be teaching you today and just giving you a sort of mashup of studies.” Her bubbly voice is so welcoming that I try to smile.

Meeting people isn’t hard for me. I push myself to be able to talk and interact as best as I can. Sure, it’s a wee bit overwhelming but I’ve always wanted to have friends so it’s worth putting my best foot forward to make them.

Waving at her she smiles again.

“I love your top. It must be so soft and comfortable. If you feel more comfortable with a blanket or in your bed, feel free to move! In my class I have these beanbags set up and tell my Omegas to bring whatever they need to be comfortable.” I nod my head, hand stroking over the material on my sherpa.

“It is soft! When I got to the academy everyone was so nice and I got to get clothes from them. I miss being there and the dorms. The girls had helped me make a nest in my bed.” I glance towards my bed with the sheets folded and everything in its place.

The glass I had been in at school had taught me that it was normal to want to create a safe space. Grammy had been so particular about a clean house that it would never have been allowed. My school friends had beautiful nests. Even the nest I had in my dorm room was better than the nothing I had here.

“Your nest is such a special place. I know you’re just getting settled in with Pack Mathers-”

“They’re not my pack.” The words rush out of me as I look at her, horrified, “They don’t want me to be their Omega. Everyone acts funny around me or like I don’t exist. The only one who seems to like me is their Beta. I think they would rather have a male Omega. Someone who fits in better with them. Or an Omega who is better at being an Omega. One of the Alphas here was in rut and I thought it was a heat. It was so embarrassing! One Alpha kissed me and then hasn’t talked to me since. The pack leader looks at me like I’m an object that is in his way. It’s only been a few days and I think coming here was a big mistake.” The tears are warm down my face and my scent is souring.

Finally saying everything out loud isn’t as freeing as I expected. Instead, it’s like a weight around my neck. The truth hurts more than I expected.

Saniya makes a sound almost like a coo.

“You need a hug. It must be so hard to show up somewhere new. I talked to Martha and she explained how you moved around a lot lately and the situation that happened with the other pack. There is so much going on but I need you to hear what I’m about to talk about Clover. Can you do that for me?” Wiping my eyes, I nod at the teacher. I think I can listen even if I can’t talk.

“Good. Packs can be a very confusing dynamic. You don’t have to ever court them if you aren’t ready to. They might be reacting to your scent and be just as lost and confused as you are. We don’t know what battles people are fighting in their own minds. They don’t know what battles you’ve survived. Learning people and being around them is so complicated but you’re doing such a good job by being here today.”

I take a deep breath and nod at her.

They might know the highlights of why I’m in their pack house but they don’t know all the details. Even today, when I was out with Mickey, he had tried to learn about me without digging too much into the disturbing details of my past.

“What I think we should start with is talking about courting and what that looks like. There is so much about it but I think we should talk about what you think courting is or what you would like from being courted?” Her voice holds no judgement and yet I’m still afraid to answer.

I’ve learned a little about this from the mixers at school and from some of the things that were talked about at home. Growing up a boy would choose a girl and they would go on a few chaperoned dates before his intention was made known and they would get married. At school, the Omegas were given gifts and shown how packs could provide for them.

I’m not sure what I think courting really is or what it means.

“I’d like whatever pack I end up in to be my friend first. I don’t want to be with a pack just because they can provide nice things for me. I don’t really understand courting.” The nod of approval feels good.

It’s like I got the answer right.

It’s also nice because now it has me thinking about what I want instead of feeling just blinded by terms that are thrown at me.

“Courting gifts are something Omegas usually like getting. It also gives the person who is trying to court a good feeling to potentially provide for their mate. Don’t be shy if you like someone and they offer you a gift. Most Omegas are courted by a pack at the academy. But courting can be done between Omegas or Betas or even one Alpha. Your pack can look like whatever you want it to.”

“Acts of service can also be a gift that you’re given. Maybe someone cooks for you all the time or they hold your books as you walk between classes. Sometimes these things can be just what friends do, but you need to pay attention to other clues. Things like how much they touch you or what they’re saying to you. I know this is a lot so if you need me to explain things in more detail let me know.”

I shake my head and she continues.

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