Page 147 of Slick Handling

“I’m going to slide my hands under the hoodie and rub your back. I’m going to press our bodies together. You just cry and feel. Try not to hurt yourself too much, cherub. You have a lot of bruising on your face, Clover. I just want you to let me hold you so you feel safe.” His voice is in a soft, even tone.

It’s so calming hearing Apollo speak. Hearing him tell me what he is going to do helps calm me down.

A sniffle comes out and then the hot tears pour out of me. Thick and hot, they slip out without me able to stop them. My chest and stomach hurt as I give in to the way I’m feeling and go through all the emotions.

Pack Weaver had kidnapped me. They had taken me against my will. Chased me down and stole me in a moment that I had just tried to get a second for myself.

Just asecond.

It was greedy to run. I was so overwhelmed by all the things that were happening. I had been given some freedom and took it.

Maybe Grammy had been right. Freedom was a noose.

I had run right into it and hung myself with the rope given to me..

“I have you. You’re doing such a good job letting it. I have you, Clover. Don’t worry about anything. I have you.” He reassures me.

The large palm on his hand rubs against my back in soothing circles. Calming me down as I just let it all out. Making a mess of Apollo as I take comfort in his safe space.

Why had I ever run from this?

“Don’t even think about anything right now. Right now you’re just going to let yourself feel everything. You’re going to just breathe in your Alpha and know you’re safe.”

He should be playing a game. They should be-

“Cherub, it’s okay.” He tries to calm me again.

It’s not okay.

Nothing is okay.

How can he ever pretend that this is all okay?

Pulling back I go to tell Apollo that, but the way he is looking at me stops me from speaking.

He doesn’t look angry or upset with how I am handling everything. Instead, he looks at me like he loves me. He looks at me like it’s just me in this world and it’s overwhelming.

“I have you, Clover. Do you see that? I have you and I’m never going to let anything happen to you again. It’s terrifying and scary and awful what happened. We’ll make sure that we have plans in place so it never something we go through in the future. We need to talk as a pack. As long as that’s what you still want.” He swallows like he is afraid that is something I might not want..

My eyes track his Adam’s apple. The way it bobs as he tries to get out his next words. The way it warbles slightly when he takes in a deep breath trying to get himself to let out the next words.

“Do you still want us to be a pack, Clover?”

Apollo’sscared.

I realize it and don’t know how to react. How could he ask me that?

“I let you down. I failed you as an Alpha. I made you feel like-”

Beans and biscuits.

He thinks that he let me down. That this is his fault.

No.

“I love you, Apollo. I love the pack. Of course I want you but-”

He doesn’t let me get anything else out. His lips press to mine again. Kissing me deeply as I whimper against his lips. It’s slightly painful because of the bruising and cuts on my face. Yet it’s right. It’s everything that I need.

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