Page 130 of Slick Handling

Mickey turns to me, his eyes looking me up and down like he wants to finally check in on me.

I’m calmer now. I feel better about everything that happened. I’m not going to go as far as to say that I love working out.

I don’t.

I did like spending time with Griffy and laughing. That was something that I could enjoy a lot. He had made things light when they were heavy. I also liked trying something new and pushing myself. I would definitely be doing that more.

“This was not how I wanted this morning to go.” He steps closer to me, looking like he’s afraid that I’m going to deny him. Apollo must have said something about how I wouldn’t let him kiss me this morning.

An arm wraps around me as he tugs me close to him, hugging me tightly against his body, and breathing me in. It’s like he’s been waiting to touch me.

“Hey, little omega.” He rocks me against him, stealing a moment for us to share, “How are you feeling today? Did Griffin take it easy on you this morning?”

I love that he’s concerned. How he checks in to take care of me. How he holds me close to him like I’m the most treasured thing in his life.

I love how he doesn’t have to say it to me, but I know that he loves me.

“Yeah, Mickey, I’m fine.” He nods but doesn’t stop holding me tight against him.

“You know we had to take care of him? It was just because he needed us to help him. We had to do it. It doesn’t mean that-”

“I know.”

I do know. I really honestly know.

“We’re going to have a pack meeting when you’re ready, Mick. Is Marcus all set?” Apollo’s voice cuts in and I step out from Mickey’s arms. I miss the warmth of him instantly, but Apollo’s words caught me off guard.

A pack meeting?

The way he had said Mick’s name and excluded me makes me feel sick. I had thought that I was part of them. That I had given them a part of me and now that I was even more a part of them that before.

Had I been wrong?

Blood rushes from my face and I feel sick. I had read this whole situation wrong. What a fool I had been. Giving them so much and for what? To be excluded from a conversation because I didn't belong. I didn't belong anywhere.

Rushing down the stairs, I pass everyone sitting in the living room. The tears are blurring my vision as I move. My heart is beating so fast as I think about how today is not what I expected it to be. I can hear Apollo and Mickey close behind me as I rush away from them.

“Clover-”

“Cherry Girl-”

“Baby Weed-”

I take off running. I just need to get away from everyone and have a second to myself.

Just a second to breathe.

I don’t know how I manage to get away from everyone. It could be that I had sneakers on and no one was expecting to have to chase me down the street. It could be that I just caught them all off guard with my sudden outburst of emotions. It could be that they don’t care enough to chase after me.

I realize, after I’m deep into the campus, I don’t have my phone or wallet with me. So I’m sure that they all love that there is no way to find or contact me.

Luckily it’s only a little chilly so I can walk around without freezing because I hadn’t grabbed a coat.

This needs to be my time to think. To finally not be surrounded by people and just let myself figure out what is going on in my life; things have been moving and going on so much lately. I feel like I’m watching things go by without actually living the moments.

Part of me is terrified by it all and the other half is exhilarated that I get to do these new things.

Maybe, I’ve never experienced happiness. This is why whenever I get closer to being happy I can’t accept it.

---