Page 181 of A Vow of Wrath and Ruin

Caiden tapped his nose—the signal they used to give one another when they needed to escape an awkward conversation.

“We were so young,” he said.

“Iwas so young. You were like seventy.”

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and he averted his eyes. This was how they used to be together. Flirtatious.

“Young for a sylph.”

She chuckled.

“But, yes, I remember. I remember dancing the night away and then falling asleep in your arms.”

“You thought life couldn’t get much better.”

“It didn’t for a long time.”

A skeletal hand clenched Caiden’s heart. He hadn’t meant to bring up such painful memories.

“I’m glad I could be a port in the storm that was your life.” His heart ached for her.

“You saved me more than you know,” she whispered.

Caiden’s throat thickened.

“And now we are strangers. I have your memories, but it’s like someone telling me a story about us… except I wasn’t there.”

He wished he had his memories—wished he knew how he felt during these precious moments.

“I’m sorry she did that to you,” Aelia said. “I’d hope we could just move on.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at Tharan. You used to look at me that way.” The words stuck in his throat. “But he looks at you the same way I looked at my wife. He really loves you Aelia. I wouldn’t dare to stand in the way of your happiness.” It wasn’t what he wanted to say

A tear trickled down her cheek. Caiden wanted to reach out and catch it before it fell off her chin.

“I didn’t want to let you go; you know. If there was a way I could have saved us, I would have. You were my first love.”

“First loves rarely last, Aelia.” Memories flashed through his mind of fights and screaming, of her longing for him to come and save her. Shame clutched his heart.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” she sniffled.

And he never meant to hurt her, but he had. She’d loved him. Had given herself to him in so many ways, and he failed her when she needed him the most. A vision of her fingers slipping through his flashed through his mind. She didn’t want to leave him, but duty called them both in different directions.

Another memory bubbled to the surface. He had come for her in the dungeons of Ryft’s Edge, but it had been too late. She was broken, in both mind and body, laying there in a pile of hay, starved and frozen. He’d scooped her up and carried her out of the palace. Aelia clung to his scent, hoping it was real and not just some cruel joke.

A mixture of shame and guilt rippled through his heart. If only he had taken her away before she went to Ryft’s Edge. It would have been hard, but they’d have been together.

“I know,” he said. “I can feel every emotion you had.”

“That’s awkward,” she said through a half-hearted laugh.

“No, it’s not. We loved each other once. The world pulled us apart. I have been a thorn in your side at times, but the love we shared was real. You couldn’t wait forever for me to save you, and by the time I did it was too late. I wish we’d run away when we had the chance, but we can’t go back now.”

“I was really angry at you for a long time,” she sniffled.

Caiden swallowed hard.

“You had every right to be. I failed you when you needed me the most.”

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