Page 37 of My Ruthless Alpha

“I know how it sounds…and I know it wasn’t fair to you. None of it would’ve been fair to you whether I stayed or not. I just didn’t want you to get hurt in the process, even if it meant causing you pain in a different way,” I said with a sigh. After a moment, I continued, “Besides…it wasn’t an arrangement I came to on my own. Cyrus pulled me aside and leveled with me when he noticed something was up with me. He could sense that I was beginning to defect, and to stop any issues from arising between us, he asked me to leave the pack. Since I respected him, I decided to go with that. I didn’t want to challenge him or cause a scene, so I willingly left on my own, and I couldn’t ask you to leave, too. I didn’t tell you the whole truth because I was ashamed…I hated the thought that I couldn’t follow him anymore, and some days, it felt like I was just making it all up in my head until the day it all clicked for me.”

Faye’s expression softened by a fraction, and her voice sounded somewhat defeated. “If you had told me the truth, I would’ve gone with you…I was prepared to follow you anywhere…you know that.”

My chest tightened at her words because I knew she would’ve done anything for me if I asked her and because I could feel the idea didn’t sit well with her.

“Yes…I do know that. Which is why I didn’t leave it open-ended…why I didn’t elaborate. I didn’t want to put you in an impossible situation and make you choose between me or the pack.”

“You make it sound like it would’ve been an impossible decision for me,” Faye began, looking at me squarely and not leaving any room for doubt as her eyes took me in completely.“But the choice would’ve been so easy. If you told me what was going on from the start, I would’ve chosen you in a heartbeat, regardless of the pack.”

Something about hearing that claim straight from her own lips caught me off-guard. Even if that should’ve been obvious, it was still a powerful thing to know.

“But the pack…Cyrus…”

“I respected him too, and I’ll always be grateful for how he led us, but you were the one I wanted,” Faye went on, expression completely genuine. “It had always been you…and if having you meant leaving the pack, then I would’ve done it without a second thought. That’s why it almost killed me when you left. I thought you’d had enough of me…I thought I wasn’t what you wanted.”

My brows pinched together at her words, sincerity fuelled by her declaration as I reached for her hand. “It was never a matter of you not being enough for me. You were all I wanted too, Faye…which was why I couldn’t drag you into my mess, too. I had been an ass before I left the pack, but I was even worse when I first tried being an alpha. I made many mistakes and had even more learning to do, and while I wish we didn’t have to be apart during that time, I’m also glad you didn’t have to see me like that.”

At my explanation, Faye let go of a gentle breath and averted her gaze, seemingly unsure of what else to say.

Not wanting her to stew in any doubt, I reached out and gently nudged her chin up to have her look at me. With as much gentle conviction as I could muster, I said, “I’m sorry for what I did…I never wanted to hurt you, and I know I could’ve handled things much differently…but you are still the only woman I’ve ever wanted as my mate. Whether it was the best choice for us to be apart or not, I’ve worked so hard to try and become the manand alpha deserving of you and your companionship. I never thought I’d have the chance to make things right with you, but I’ve always hoped for it. And now that you’re here…now that we have our little girl, I want you both to stay here with me. I want to continue proving to you that I deserve your trust. I don’t ever want anything to come between us again.”

Faye’s eyes continued to search mine as hers became softer. She was completely receptive then, looking at me like I was the sun itself.

I never thought I’d be able to see that kind of awe on her face again, yet it felt so sweet, and I didn’t want it to end.

“You mean that?”

“Yes,” I returned without hesitation as I marveled over her beautiful features and moved my hand to cup her cheek gently. “I mean every word. If you’ll allow me, I want to be the mate you’ve always deserved.”

She swallowed hard then, seemingly considering it for a moment before the last of her resistance faltered, and she leaned in quicker than I expected.

Her lips were on mine at a moment’s notice, making my eyes close instinctively. Without missing a second, I adjusted my careful grip on her jaw and deepened the kiss to savor her completely.

Even if we hadn’t resisted our affections ever since we slept together again, it felt different this time. The surge of emotions came crashing in like the walls that remained between us had finally come down, and the heat of her skin against mine sparked a newer, more intense need within me.

Regardless of everything I had done and how I lost every right to her, she was giving herself to me once again, and it was the most complete I had felt in a long time.

Chapter 17 - Faye

Biting my lip to the point of almost drawing blood, my face felt hot all over, and the tension in my body only seemed to get worse the longer Beau remained down there, on his knees, while he kissed my inner thighs and maintained a slow, sinful pace of his fingers inside me.

Sitting on that love seat without my bottoms on, panties pulled to the side, I gripped the cushion beneath me while I tried to hold my moans back, well aware that we were outside.

But while he continued his lazy strokes, fingers deep within my soft walls, a faint pinch to my thigh made me gasp.

Looking down, I found Beau’s dark eyes on me while he withdrew his teeth from my plush flesh, looking mildly annoyed.

“Don’t do that,” he murmured, placing a tender kiss against the spot he nipped at. “…holding your moans in. I want to hear them.”

I swallowed hard, lashes fluttering at the intense ripples of pleasure that moved through me just from his fingers. “…but we’re outside…on the balcony.”

“I don’t care,” Beau insisted, positioning his face closer to my aching core once he withdrew his fingers, leaving me empty again. Then, he gave a small, dangerous flick of his tongue against my clit, never taking his eyes off mine. “I don’t care who might hear you out here…you’re mine, Faye. Let them know it.”

His words made me clench around nothing as a shiver ran up my spine, making me squirm with another moan leaving me.

Satisfied by my reaction, Beau dipped closer again and dragged his tongue through my wet flesh with more purpose.

A shudder coursed through me as my head tipped back, and I gripped the cushions again, overwhelmed by the sudden barrage of pleasure. I moaned breathlessly for him, urging myself to ignore my reservations and give in to the ecstasy of the moment.

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