Page 36 of My Ruthless Alpha

While nothing was written in stone, I still had every reason to be less unsure about it all. I felt like I had something tangible after not knowing where things might go.

I waited for Faye upstairs on the balcony overlooking the backyard, where the trees surrounded the perimeter of my property. I sat on the outdoor loveseat while I took in the quiet around me.

The leaves rustled overhead while darkness filled the space, save for the light I had on that lit up the patio. Overall, it was a beautiful night.

Sitting there, I looked to my right and saw the streetlights that lined the road heading out of town, along with the few buildings around. With everyone tucked away for the night, everything seemed so quiet and still.

It was that peace I had worked hard to gain and maintain, and while it was easy to become complacent and overconfidentin my ability to protect the grounds and my people, I had to remind myself not to slip into those habits.

I needed to be guarded regardless of how good everything seemed to be. There was a chance that Colton could retaliate at any given moment, and if he really did have a gang behind him, then I needed to be on my game.

If he were to find out that I was harboring Faye—the woman he had his eyes on for a potential mate—I couldn’t be sloppy. I had to stay focused and not lose sight of the fact that he could very well plan on tracking her down.

Above all else, I was going to protect my loved ones regardless of what it would take.

Since Margo was finally aware that I was her dad and Faye and I were making strides toward being something more than just co-parents, I wasn’t prepared to give it all up again.

The door behind me opened sometime later, and I heard Faye’s gentle steps approaching. Glancing over at her, I caught the almost soft yet hesitant expression on her face while she looked back at me. From the looks of it, she had more things on her mind and debated whether it was a good time.

Keeping myself open and receptive, I gestured to the spot beside me, silently encouraging her to sit.

Letting go of a quiet breath, Faye sat down and settled in while we both remained in a mutual silence for a moment.

Then, I perked up again as she prepared herself to speak.

“I hope it was okay that I told Margo about you being her dad.”

A soothing warmth moved through me at her words, and I smiled faintly. “It was more than okay. I’m glad she knows now.”

Faye nodded at that, then fiddled with her fingers in her lap. “I know things have been a bit weird between us…one moment, I’m being receptive, and the next, I’m not completely there emotionally…and I think that means we should probably talk.”

Holding her gaze, noting the slight nerves as they moved through her, I already knew what she meant.

Even though it had been a couple of weeks since she started staying at my place, we never fully addressed what had happened between us before. It was obvious that some pain remained because of it, but beyond that, I didn’t know how to approach the topic.

I didn’t want to be too overbearing or overstep into a territory especially sensitive to Faye.

But seeing as she was the one bringing it up, I decided to go with it. I had the feeling she was right—it would be better for both of us to put everything to rest.

In a sense, I had been waiting to do exactly that and to explain myself so that nothing could be misconstrued.

“You mean about us…before?”

With a hint of vulnerability in her gaze, Faye nodded once again. “Yes. Everything with you leaving and how it was after that…”

Even if it was a big topic that required careful handling, I felt ready to have that conversation. Ready to tell Faye the parts I never had the chance to get off my chest fully. At the moment, I knew my explanation had been rushed and harsh, given how insane those conflicting feelings were making me, but with the opportunity in front of me, I wasn’t going to waste it.

“All right,” I began, pulling my thoughts together as I shifted to face her better. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to tell you everything I was thinking…the reasons behind everything I did.”

As if that had been the exact thing she was hoping for, Faye schooled her emotions and listened intently.

Taking a deep breath, I began, “I know I told you before that I needed time…that I didn’t know what I wanted, and that was why I left. But it wasn’t entirely the truth. I did know what I wanted, but I also knew I couldn’t have it while battling everything inside my head when it all went down.”

Faye’s brows furrowed slightly as she looked at me, growing more curious. “What was going on then?”

“Even since I was young, I had only ever been a beta. I followed Cyrus’ orders and did everything I could to be as obedient as possible. I respected him; I really did. But despite that, I started to feel this sense of insubordination that was entirely new to me. It made me feel guilty…almost like I was betraying him and everyone else in a way. I tried to ignore the instinct at first, thinking it would go away like it was some kind of phase…but it didn’t,” I explained, doing my best to hit every base I needed to. “The more I pushed the feeling away, the worse it became…the more agitated I became, and I was starting to take it out on you. I knew it wasn’t fair; the worse it was, the guiltier I felt. I didn’t want to cause you any harm or put you in a bad position, so I decided to leave and figure everything out on my own first before I dragged you into it more. That was when I realized I had the calling to be an alpha, and I just couldn’t ignore it anymore.”

She soaked in every word, flitting between different emotions all the while. Then, a vaguely irritated expressionsettled on her face. “You rejected me because you couldn’t be a follower anymore? You had to start over on your own?”

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