“I don’t know how to talk to you anymore.” I shrugged, feeling helpless.
Talia looked surprised and then nodded. “Me too. It feels like no matter how hard I try, things get weird and complicated.”
“We’ll have to keep talking through it. Like we are now.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what else to do.”
Talia handed me the box of cupcakes. “I’ve really missed you. I hate feeling like you’re mad at me all the time.”
“I’m not.” I took the box, the scent of mint and chocolate wafting up. “Going through a horrible break up, the business picking up, it’s all been a lot in the last year.”
“We won’t let this come between us.” Talia put her arm around my shoulder, and I leaned against my friend.
“Nothing can be worse than when Bobby tried to date all three of us at the same time and then lied about it.”
Talia giggled. “Or when we went two years without sharing a single class or lunch together.”
“Right?” I watched the waves roll in and out, the water hypnotizing.
Those two years, me, Talia, and Becca learned how to make time for each other. High school was about easy friendships. You shared lunch, a class, and had something in common. Our junior and senior years, we didn’t share any classes. We had to hang out after school and on the weekends. I learned a lot about making time for someone you cared about rather than them being around you because of circumstances.
“Or when Noah’s designation came in,” Talia added quietly.
I muttered at that. Noah was our friend in high school, a beta guy, and we thought he was gonna stay a beta forever. Talia dated him on and off until his designation came in as alpha, and the sweet, slightly shy guy changed almost overnight. He’d dumped Talia and started only dating omegas.
Part of our shared history was missing—Becca—and it still felt like a knife inside me. Becca was calm, laid back, and charismatic. Becca was the one who’d said we had to make time for each other, that we would be best friends forever.
When Bobby had tried to date the three of us at once, it was Becca that stepped in, called him out in front of the entire school, and shut him down.
I was twenty-six now, too old to be thinking about high school antics, but that was what had glued my friendship with Talia and Becca together.
I’d always thought after college and getting “big girl” jobs, as we called them, it would have been easier to stay friends.
Becca’s accounting firm had taken off. Talia’s bakery was doing well. I had Cosmic Bonds. We’d met up for Sunday brunch and talked about our lives, the terrible dates we went on, everything that mattered.
A realization struck me. “I think I’m struggling because we survived high school. We’re still friends.”
“We are.” Talia said firmly.
“Even though it would have been easier to let our adult careers separate us.”
“It’s somehow harder when I’m an adult to have party weekends.” Talia sounded put out, and I laughed.
“I thought it would be the three of us as friends, forever.” I let the words out, and they hung in the air, full of the weight of crushed expectations.
Talia grew still.
“But Becca hurt me, whether or not she meant to. And now it’s like we have to relearn how to be friends without her.”
Talia let out a heavy sigh. “I wish she’d made different choices. I think about it all the time.”
I looked at my friend. For the first time since I’d broken up with Pack Beneventi, it sounded like Talia was criticizing her.
“I wasn’t trying to stick up for Becca,” Talia held her hands up. “I was trying to salvage our friendships, not knowing it would be impossible.”
Hurt wormed its way through me. “Shedid that, Talia, not me. She could have talked to me, and things might have turned out differently.”
“But she was caught up in the moment.” Talia started, her eyes wide. “She?—”
“For weeks?” I raised my eyebrow. “That’s not caught up in the moment, Talia, and you know it. She could have talked to me. She chose to sneak around behind my back, and she’s not even sorry.”