By the time I parked, the saltwater breeze was coming in steady off the ocean. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else in the world. Most of the time when I got too in my head, I’d drive out to the ocean and watch the waves roll back and forth.
There were a few people out and about, mostly walking along the beach. I stopped at a lemonade stand, bought two, and headed over to where Talia was sitting on our favorite bench, a box of cupcakes next to her.
Some of my anxiety melted away. I didn’t know how, but we would figure this out.
“You look stressed.” Talia bit her lip.
I plopped onto the bench, handing her a lemonade. “I’ve got four parties in the heavy planning stage. And there’s a big client I’m trying to do a proposal for.”
I sucked in a deep breath of fresh air as nerves made my chest tight.
“We can talk later, it’s really okay.” Talia tapped the pink cupcake box. “I brought these because I didn’t know if I needed to change our plans for Saturday.”
“I wasn’t trying to ignore you. I’m slammed at work, and I don’t know what else to say.” I shrugged. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, but I can’t override my family’s decisions for our business either.”
“I wasn’t thinking about it being my business.” Talia shrugged. “Raina is so mercenary. I was trying to do something nice.”
“Which is great.” I watched seagulls swoop around the pier, basically rats with wings begging for food. “Raina isn’t trying to be mercenary. She’s very driven about the family business.”
She had to be to make sure her entire family didn’t starve, or get thrown into foster care, I silently added. I was sixteen when our parents died, but Luna, the youngest, was only ten. At eighteen, Raina might have been considered an adult, but we’d had to prove we were going to be financially secure.
Mercenary didn’t begin to cover it.
Talia fiddled with the lid of the box. “It just feels like if it’s a choice between me and your family, it’s your family.”
“I don’t understand why it has to be a choice.” I took a sip from my lemonade. “You realize how horrible that is, being put in the middle?”
“I wasn’t trying to.” Talia sounded frustrated. “I was playing with a recipe, and I wanted your thoughts. If Raina wanted to make that into something bigger, that’s on her.”
I thought about how to reply. Talia was upset, and I could see why. But once again, I had to either stand by Raina’s actions or tell Talia she was completely right in being hurt.
I tried another approach. “I have a big family, yes, but as much as I love them, they drive me insane. You’re my best friend.”
Talia grinned at that. “Still glad I’m an only child.”
“When my family makes decisions, I can’t always change them, but that’s not because I’m picking them over you.” I looked at her. She had my back through high school and beyond. “And it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
“Okay.” Talia fiddled with the box of cupcakes again, and frustration broke through some of my peace. Regardless of whatelse was on her mind, Talia’s priority was her business, and I could see she wanted me to ask her about the cupcakes. “I want you to remember that I care about you, too. It’s been hard being between you and Becca.”
I looked away at that. Tears needled the corner of my eyes.
“I’m sorry she hurt you, Sunshine. I am. But you two are my best friends, and I’m caught in the middle.”
I bit my lip. “I don’t ask you questions about them.”
“You don’t,” Talia agreed. “But it feels like you’re punishing me for being friends with her.”
I gritted my teeth, and I considered if I really wanted to have it out. If I really wanted to ask Talia why she stayed friends with someone who hurt me so badly.
No, not today. Not with Talia already upset and me exhausted.
“I’m not trying to punish you,” I said instead. “But you act like I should just move on. I can’t be hurt around you without you rushing to defend Becca.”
“I don’t mean to.” Talia frowned.
I stared at the ocean. Things were so much easier when we were teenagers. Despite the grief I’d been working through, our squabbles had centered around where we wanted to eat for dinner and what we should do on the weekend.
When we argued about boys and packs, it was because we didn’t like them. Talia liked to date bad boys, which meant most of them were assholes.