Page 45 of Sunshine

Talia:

Just making sure we are still on for Saturday

If not I understand

Damn it. I’d forgotten we’d made plans weeks ago to talk about the spring menu.

After the First Responders’ Festival, I’d assumed we would just apologize to each other and move on. But she had stayed radio silent, and I hadn’t been able to think of what to say that didn’t sound like I was taking full responsibility.

Why were friendships so hard? I’d naively thought it would be easier as I got older, but it was only more difficult.

What had been annoying when we were teenagers was tiresome now. I hated how she would get upset about something and then expect me to apologize.

I gritted my teeth. If I didn’t reply now, I would obsess over that instead of my proposal.

Sunshine:

Of course we’re still on for Saturday

I’m sorry you were upset at the festival, but I don’t see how I could have done anything differently

It took a few minutes, but she replied.

Talia:

I’d rather talk about that in person so my words don’t get twisted

I know you’re really busy with events and it’s okay if you don’t have the mental space to talk right now

I rolled my eyes, trying to calm my anger. Becca was the one who would nail you to the tree with your words. If you said you were upset, she wouldn’t let that go.

But at least Talia was telling me what she wanted. Despite the frustration, there was something comforting about someone knowing me so well.

Talia knew I was flipping out about my events and was giving me space if I didn’t want to talk.

Sunshine:

It’s okay

I’m stumped anyway

Do you want to meet somewhere this afternoon?

Talia:

Pier 57?

Talia and I used to hang out on the beach all the time, and it was still one of our favorite places in the world.

We agreed on a time, and I tried not to worry. We would work things out. We always did.

Maybe that’s part of what had gone wrong when I was dating Rob. I’d told Rob how I felt about everything, from my favorite coffee to scary movies. I was so used to being open with the people involved in my personal life. With so many cousins and siblings, I had to.

But Pack Beneventi had been all about compartmentalizing. We’d talked about things, but I’d still felt like I was getting to know everyone, much less how they interacted with each other, when I walked in on Becca, Mason, and Rob having sex in the living room.

Tears stung at the corners of my eyes. I really needed to decompress if I was getting myself this worked up. I thought again about how Talia had been there for me through my parents’ death, the panic attacks I’d had at random intervals, the stress of starting the event planning business. I didn’t know why things were so complicated now, but we could work through it.

Leaving my coffee table a mess of papers, I drove out to Pier 57. On the way, I turned on one of Ember’s playlists. Loud pop music blasted through, clearing some of my thoughts.

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