Page 38 of Sunshine

I came out grinning. My entire family waited for me along with Logan and Luca.

“Who’s next?” I said, giving my whole family the thumbs up.

“Hell, no!” Ember said, West hugging her from behind. “We’re here for moral support.”

Julian led me over to the tub. My stomach turned and I wondered if I was going to make it. The water was still filled with ice and chilly air radiated out of the tub.

Chloe shook herself, a towel wrapped around her shoulders. “You got this.”

“Okay.” Julian stood in front of the tub. “I’m going to climb in first to help stabilize you. Sit down, all at once. Don’t try to go in slowly to adjust.”

I nodded.

“Try to meditate if you can. Or focus on your breathing. In and out.” Julian took a deep breath and then let it out. “That’s all you have to do. You can tap out at any time. No shame, just do it as long as you can.”

“Okay.” I glanced at the red clock. “That’s going to count down the time?”

“Yes, but once you’re in, it’s easier not to watch the clock.” Julian hopped into the tub and then gestured at me. I stalled for half a second, but I didn’t want to keep him waiting.

I stepped into the ice water, and my entire body stiffened. I let out a gasp, unable to stop the air from leaving my lungs. Icy water hit me up to my knee. It felt like if I stopped to think about the blinding cold, I would die. I sat down instead, and freezing numbness gripped me.

Panic hit me as the pain receptors lit up inside my brain. It was cold. So cold it was hot, sending burning, searing pain all through my body. Julian had sat down at the same time I did. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and leaned back so I was leaning against him.

“Remember to breathe. In.” He took in a deep breath through his nose. “And out.”

I sucked in a breath, the warmth of his body engulfing me. My instincts were at war between escaping the freezing numbness and sinking into the pure comfort of his arms around me. I put my hands on his forearms and took a deep breath.

“There you go, babe, in and out.”

I let out a shaky breath. I kept waiting to get used to the searing cold, but so far, I was two seconds from jumping out.

Julian nuzzled my hair. “Breathe in and out. Come on, take another breath for me.”

I obeyed. My brain latched on to his soothing voice. I wanted to ask when I would get used to it, but I couldn’t make my mouth work. Dimly, I heard my family cheering me, Luca cheering my name, Logan promising dessert.

It was all fuzzy. A cocoon wrapped around me, and I sank into it. It was like meditation, but much more extreme. I wasn’t sitting calmly in our rock garden listening to the birds chirp, trying to empty my mind. I was forcing my body to laser focus on the blinding cold from my waist down.

“Breath in.” Julian’s mouth was right next to my ear. “And out.”

I tried to focus on his body wrapped around mine. I was safe. He wouldn’t let anything hurt me.

It was still so cold. Every time I thought I’d been in long enough for my body to acclimate, another jolt of pure freezing cold hit me.

I fought the urge to pull away from it.

“Remember your breathing.” Julian’s voice pulled me out of my body and back to focusing on one single task.

The rest of the world fell away. I wasn’t trying to impress Mrs. Cullen, or fix what was broken between me and Talia, or make sure my family was happy.

It was just me and Julian, and all we had to do was breathe.

So I focused on his chest inhaling, and exhaling. I matched my own body movements with his, and it was oddly sensual, like our bodies were in sync with more than just our breath.

It didn’t get less cold, but it stopped being so shocking. I floated in space, blocking out everything but Julian’s voice and the deep cold.

“And time!” Chloe yelled.

I blinked, coming out of the haze.

---