Page 126 of Sunshine

They wanted a beautiful service overlooking the cliffs, but that venue was booked months in advance.

Was it too late? I shifted in bed again, and Luca murmured in his sleep. My mouth tasted like copper, and I willed myself to calm the fuck down.

Even if it felt like a bear was chasing me, I was actually fine…screwing things up at work, but I could fix it.

I hoped. The Snyder’s were a sweet pack, and they deserved to have their ceremony at the place of their dreams.

Slowly, I shifted out of bed. I would crawl out of my skin laying down like this.

I’d had to get up in the middle of the night for some panic work, and I didn’t want to wake anyone else up. They’d ask questions. Offer comfort. I wanted to get it done so I could go back to bed.

I padded into the living room, my skin both cold and hot, clammy with sweat. I opened my laptop, my heart racing, as I clicked through some websites. I would just book that ceremony. And order the flowers. I had to remember to call Janice tomorrow as well. I kept forgetting and I wouldn’t be able to order the right glasses.

I opened three different tabs, typed in the website addresses, and clicked into a new tab before the page finished loading.

Objectively, I needed to focus on one task at a time, but my brain was in panic mode. Waiting felt like a small death. I was also terrified I would forget which was the most important. It was like being in a tunnel, and all I could do was to keep racing ahead.

“Sunshine?” Luca appeared in the living room, his curly hair ruffled from sleep. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of soft sweatpants, his tanned skin glowing in the lamplight. “What’s wrong?”

I looked back at the screen. “Let me click three buttons and I’m coming back to bed.”

Julian and Logan appeared next to him, wearing identical looks of worry.

“I’m sorry.” I waved my hand. “I’m coming right back, I swear. I just remembered some stuff.”

Julian plopped on the couch next to me. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“I have to work,” I said, my voice sharper than I meant. “There’s a lot of balls in the air right now, and I keep forgetting to do important tasks. If I don’t do it right now, I’m not sure it will be done in time, and I don’t want to forget again.”

Julian exchanged a look with the two alphas.

The nausea rolled over me again. Now they would see what a hot mess I was and lecture me on work habits.

Luca sat on my other side, and Logan sat on the coffee table in front of us. I braced myself.

“Sunshine, my beautiful beta.” Luca’s voice sounded hesitant. That cut through the mental static.

“What?” My heart dropped. “You said four hours ago you weren’t going to break up with me because I’m a hot mess sometimes.”

“Emphasis on the hot,” Julian said softly.

“We’re not breaking up with you.” Luca looked at me, his hands folded in his lap. “We love you. But you’re working yourself really hard, and I think it’s time for help.”

“My sisters would help if they could,” I said. “I’m busier than normal right now.”

I knew it was a lie the second I said it. It wasn’t that I was busy. I just really, really sucked at managing tasks.

“Have you ever been tested for ADHD?” Luca’s voice was still soft.

I frowned. “I’m not hyperactive.”

“That’s not exactly what ADHD means,” Luca said carefully. “I’m not a doctor, I could be wrong, but from my understanding the core issue is the inability to prioritize tasks. You either push things off and do it all in a rush, or you do other things that feel important at the time, but turns out not to be.”

Julian rubbed his chin on my shoulder, absently scent marking me. His scent calmed down some of my racing heart. “Luca has ADHD.”

“I was struggling really hard when I met Logan and Julian. I thought I could do it all. But I could not file briefs on time. I would focus on bits of research and ignore deadlines until I was up for two days finishing things on time. I couldn’t force myself to do anything that I didn’t want to do, no matter how much it matters.”

I winced, looking at the tell-tale laptop in my lap. “I’ve tried every planner system known to mankind. My sisters remind me. Even Julian helps me do things that are stupid and boring.”

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