Page 120 of Sunshine

“Agreed.” Julian kissed my forehead. “I haven’t even convinced you to move in with us.”

A shiver of ice ran down my spine. That was more relevant and, somehow, more scary.

“Hey.” He patted my shoulder. “If you’re not ready it’s okay. But you basically sleep over every night anyway.”

“I know.” I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. “It’s stupid after you saying you love me, but it feels really sudden.”

I pictured moving in and falling even deeper for this pack. At least when Rob and Isaac dumped me, I still had my own place. I didn’t have to worry about packing my stuff and leaving.

“Just think about.” Julian ran his hands through my hair, the blond strands hopelessly messed up. “I’m patient. Mostly.”

I laughed and forced myself to relax.

The nasty part of my mind wanted to think Julian didn’t mean any of this. He would regret me moving in after the heat haze wore off, would regret saying “I love you” so soon.

But the memory of how open and raw he was, panting that he loved me, like he would die without me, refused to be ignored. I’d never seen anyone but my family so vulnerable. Luca and Logan too, like they were completely undone.

A memory popped into my head. Rob and I, making out in the couch at their house, Mason coming in from his art class. Rob dropped nibbles down my neck, as Mason made a beeline for their bedroom.

“Hey Mason, what you do think? Sunshine at your next heat?”

Mason actually wrinkled his nose. It cut me deep. I didn’t want to care so much, I wouldn’t push if Mason wasn’t interested. But for him to actively wrinkle his nose? Like it was disgusting to him?

It hurt. Rob had laughed it off, but things were never the same.

Now I knew why.

“What’s wrong?” Julian tapped my shoulder. “Your forehead is doing the wrinkle thing. It’s seriously okay to wait for you to move in if you want more time.”

“It’s not that.” I kissed the scale on the dragon tattoo.

“Tell me.” He asked sweetly, giving me puppy eyes.

“Not during your heat.” I kissed his mouth. “Later.”

He pouted. “Tell me now.”

“It was about Mason.” I watched his face for any signs of distress. He looked concerned, but not mad.

“He didn’t want me at his heat. I thought it was because I was just a beta.”

“Aww honey.” He pressed his forehead against mine. “He was an idiot.”

“It wasn’t that.” I laid my arms on his chest. “I saw you completely undone. You couldn’t be in heat around just anybody.”

“Ewww no.” He made such a cute face. I touched his nose.

“Exactly. It wasn’t me, a useless beta. He wasn’t comfortable with me during his heat, his most vulnerable moment.”

Julian hugged me against him. “That’s true. He was an idiot for not wanting you, but no. You are plenty useful during a heat.”

He angled his mouth over mine, taking a slow drowsy kiss. “You locked me.” His voice got husky. “Made me scream your name, over and over. Made me eat food.” He looked between us, at our sleeping alphas. “Wore out the alphas.”

I sighed, pleasure curling through me. Something that was broken inside me felt…better. I wasn’t a useless beta.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I moved in. I thought about it, turning the thought over. But exhaustion made it hard to think so I pushed it aside as a problem for the future.

Luca and Logan woke up, and insisted we eat again. I was ravenous but wanted a bath more than food. Julian whined about the scent getting washed off, so I made him soak with me. Logan washed off and then hurried away to cook with a manic gleam in his eye.