Page 106 of Sunshine

My heart sank. “So youwerethe helper.”

Holly nodded. “I was. But I felt so smug, being the one who made sure they didn’t die of starvation. Aiden said it was the best heat he’d ever had, because he wasn’t hanging on the edge of exhaustion as badly.”

I gave a weak smile, trying to seem positive. But I had hoped to feel more…needed during the heat, rather than like the designated driver who didn’t get to join in while everyone else is getting drunk and having a good time.

“It’s not like that.” Holly shook her head. “I can see by the look on your face that you’re stewing on ‘just’ being a helper. If Logan’s sick and you bring him soup, do you feel like a maid? A servant? Or are you pleased you can help him?”

“I’m pleased, of course.” I thought for a moment about the pleasure I’d felt buying Julian stuff for his heat even though he didn’t actually need anything.

“You’re most definitely still part of the heat, and you’re still needed as much as the alpha. More, in some ways. You’re not in a rut and you’re not in heat, even though you will be heavily affected by both. You’re there for the fun. On top of that, you get to care for your pack by being the person who makes sure everyone eats and takes care of themselves.”

I pictured interacting like that with the Kahele pack. I’d like that, to be there with them. For them.

Holly was rifling around in the things she’d put down when she arrived. Looking over at me with a little smile, she pulled out a stylish gift box and set it on the table. There was no brand name or label, so I looked at her expectantly.

“I went online and bought you some sex toys.”

“Um, thanks. But, Julian has a lot…” I started, before Holly lifted up a finger.

“Not like these. I bought you locks.”

I blinked. “Oh.”

“I was guessing you haven’t used them before.” Holly’s smile grew playful as she leaned in. “Julian will lose his mind. I’ve tried several and these three are the best ones foryourcomfort andhispleasure.”

After throwing a quick glance around, I lifted the lid with one finger. An alpha female had a lock instead of a knot. Effectively, her vaginal walls would clench tight to keep a male omega inside her. Again, all for the sake of breeding.

People could buy different sorts of alpha locks at sex shops or online. Most of them either flexed inside the woman or sat outside the vagina and triggered once the omega was inside her.

“Try them out. You might find you have preferences.” Holly gave me a wicked grin, and my cheeks felt like they were on fire.

“Thanks,” I muttered. I’d wanted to look at them, but I’d been too nervous to order them online without knowing enough about the different types. “Does it…hurt, having it inside you?”

That was what I was most confused about. My pleasure came from Julian’s cock inside me. If I had a lock inserted instead, wouldn’t that feel less pleasurable?

“Nope. Well…” Holly paused, tilting her head to the side. She took a massive bite of her sandwich, chewed it thoughtfully, and swallowed before talking again. “One brand I didn’t care for. But, it’s like having a hollow dildo inserted that’s designed to hold him in place once you decide it’s time.”

That made more sense.

“If I were you, I would play with inserting them before the actual heat.”

I pouted. “I wanted to…uhhh…surprise him.”

Holly laughed. “Sure, surprise him. But make sure you’ve had time to figure out how use them beforehand so you’re more comfortable.”

I let out a breath. This was better information than I’d hoped for. “Thank you. This is…this is perfect.”

As much as I loved the rest of my family, there were certain experiences they could only talk about as outsiders.

While I ate my sandwich, Holly walked me through the specifics of each of the different locks. Even though she was basically my sister, it was embarrassing, but I needed to know rather than be in the dark.

When she was done, she put them back into the box and slid it over to my side of the table. I rolled my eyes at her and tossed a note pad over the top, and then our conversation shifted to work.

I told Holly not to judge me then I launched into my workload and all the random and various tasks I was behind on. It was embarrassing in a whole different way, but Holly knew me well enough to understand that this was my normal operating procedure. I walked her through all of my clients, their special preferences, then the vendors and their intricacies.

Holly made notes in her scheduling software, updating everything with a cool efficiency I couldn’t help but envy. Every New Year’s resolution I made thatthiswould be my year to get organized, I’d start off well, but by March everything would be going off the rails. It was now May, so I was fully in the raccoon-in-a-garbage-can mode of organizing.

Holly and I went through all my clients’ paperwork, then I updated my own scheduling software to synch with Holly’s, so that whenever she made notes on what she did, I would be able to access it quickly.

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