Page 78 of Luna

I huffed. “I’ll call one of my sisters. I told you guys over and over how I felt about bonding. You shouldn’t have pushed.”

Halos slid off the bed. “You’re right. It’s a weird situation we’re in.” He glanced at the others. “We’re sorry. We’ll give you space, but we’ll be back the second you crook your little finger.”

I watched them file out of the room. My heart squeezed in my chest, and I could barely contain the tears until after they left.

The door clicked shut behind them.

My world was torn between love and fear. And, torn between the desire to embrace the life they offered and the terror of losing them, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed.

Chapter Twenty Nine: Luna

Raina came over to take care of me, and the rest of my family followed. Zephyr and Terran did housework and cooked meals. Ember, Sunshine, and Stella cuddled with me, and helped me find more comfortable positions.

Three miserable days passed in a blur. I felt numb, disconnected from my body. Poppy kicked me, and I patted the place where her heel stuck out of my stomach. Quinn had loved it when she did that, said it was a miracle to see the small human being inside me.

I shifted in bed, unable to get them off my mind. I’d requested space, enough that I could think about what I actually wanted, not clouded by their scents. But now that they were gone it was like all the color leached away from my life.

I loved them. My heart lurched. I loved them so much, the reality of being away from them was debilitating.

Ember came into the bedroom and handed me a giant bowl of popcorn. “Movie time?”

I shrugged.

“Raina is doing her dictator impression.” Ember snatched some popcorn out of the bowl. “I know you trust Terran with your precious plants, so he’s been weeding. Stella and Sunshine are at the resort right now.”

“I don’t need everyone here,” I whispered. I knew I was being a massive inconvenience, but I couldn’t help it. Every time I told myself to suck it up, and just let them marry me, bond me, whatever it took to get them by my side again, a giant block of ice settled over my chest.

I was still terrified of chaining them to me, so now I was at an impasse.

Ember changed the channel from Garden Hunters to the nature documentaries she loved. I privately thought she just liked watching predators run down prey animals.

“You know, you’ll feel better bonded.”

I rolled my eyes. “You sound like Stella.”

“She’s never been happier.” Ember shrugged. “I’m just saying. You’ll be able to feel their love for you.”

“That’s not as comforting as everyone makes it out to be,” I muttered, eating some popcorn. Sharp pains filtered through my sides, ever present. I was lucky to get an hour of unbroken sleep before I had to roll over.

“Why?” Ember frowned. “I don’t need to be bonded to West to know he loves me, but it would be nice to just feel it sometimes, like the sun.”

“Find an alpha, then,” I snapped.

Ember went still next to me, and I regretted my words.

“I’m sorry.” I patted her shoulder. “I’m tired and cranky.”

Ember slumped against me. “You know we’ve played with alphas before. If I had alphas looking at me and West like those numbskulls look at you, I would have let them bond me.”

“And then what?” I huffed, tired of everyone in the entire world acting like that was the end of it. “Five years, ten years from now, Colton is finally tired of Dante leaving his socks everywhere and wants out? But Quinn doesn’t want to leave, so now we’re all stuck. Or they get annoyed about how timid I am, hating how I worry about everything.”

“You’ve hardly kept that a secret,” Ember said dryly.

“But it’s still early enough they are telling themselves it’s not a big deal.” I gestured with the popcorn bowl. Anxiety churned inside me, needing to be let out. “Seven years of the same annoying things over and over is another matter.”

Ember looked at me, really looked at me. “You’re fixated on far into the future. Why?”

I looked at my hands. My nails were shockingly clean, and it felt wrong somehow. “How am I supposed to know what’s going to happen? How can I make plans if I don’t know we’re going to be happy? I don’t even know what’s going to happen in three months.”

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