Page 73 of Shrine of Fire

I grinned. “Really?”

“Really.” He kissed my forehead. “It’s hard to let go like that. You did beautifully.”

I stroked my hand through his hair. “Thank you. You make me feel so safe and comforted. Like a nest,” I added awkwardly.

Kalahar beamed. “Is that so? That’s the best compliment anyone’s ever paid me.”

He rubbed his face into my neck, scenting me. His bonfire aroma was everywhere, matching the smell of the flames. They were slowly going out, and I saw I hadn’t even scorched the stone.

“I didn’t ruin some omega’s altar room.” I grinned at the untouched stone.

“On the contrary.” Kalahar sat up, helping me up with him. “You’ve brought life back into the Shrine.”

I felt it as soon as my spirit pointed it out to me. “I did. It doesn’t feel…dead.”

“It has been reborn.” He smiled at me proudly. “You are potent.”

“So are you.” I eyed his body, wondering if we had time for more.

He laughed. “I am glad I could please you.”

“Always.” I slid off the altar, my legs wobbly. “I supposed we should go find the others.”

“We should.” Kalahar grumbled, handing me my dress. He leaned down to kiss me. “Shall I presume that I am free to make advances again?”

“Yes,” I said immediately. “Any time.”

Kalahar cupped my face. “You are precious to me, Nova. I am sorry I cannot give you more.”

I pressed my forehead against his. “I do not want more than you can give. You told me they’re all waiting for me, so that goes both ways.”

“Good. I do not think I can keep myself away from you.” Kalahar kissed me again, long enough to steal my breath.

I watched my phoenix as he helped me dress, and then put himself back together, and then we left to find the others.

I was afraid of the dangers of life, and more afraid of what would happen if I let myself really, truly go and love these men. With my whole heart and soul.

But I was tired of this half-life.

For better or worse, I was falling in love again.

After an engagement ceremony that lasted three days and many goodbyes, Cuan joined us as we sailed Southeast to Tolaga.

Guilt swarmed my mind at taking him with me away from his home, but he seemed happier than ever. The journey from the iron cold waters to the temperate blue waters of the Sea of Amas would take two weeks. Cuan went out of his way to get to know everyone, including Captain Lin and Lord Baylin.

I was falling in love, and this was supposed to be a good thing, but I couldn’t help but feel dismay. Guilt. It was one thing to worry about not being able to love again at all, but this was something else entirely.

How did I love them without making them feel like they were my second choice? Without constantly missing my other pack, and, in some way, making these men feel like they were my consolation prize? They were wonderful people who deserved to be loved to the fullest, but I couldn’t trust myself that I could show them how I felt without hurting them.

One clear night, almost a week after we left Fairuin, we had an impromptu deck party. Baylin and the courtiers brought chairs and tables, and the ladies of court deigned to participate. Some of the sailors joined in, and even Captain Lin allowed herself a glass of port.

Hashir started a game of cards, Alphas and Omegas, the rules were complicated, but popular with the sailors, and soon everyone had joined.

I didn’t know what I was doing. Something about laying the alpha over the omega, before the beta, and after the soldier.

“I heard the City of Waterfalls is filled with jewels,” Lady Pelissa told one of the other ladies. “Perhaps we’ll find our own matches?”

Cuan switched seats with Stefan, as part of one of the rules about laying higher cards first. “Aye, I hear they have rubies the size of my fist.”

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