Page 54 of Shrine of Fire

I wasn’t making things easier. Aki was right. I hid my feelings and pretended they didn’t matter.

I was afraid of being hurt and hurting the other person. That I wouldn’t be healed enough to offer more than broken friendship.

But I was letting that keep people at arm’s length. I wasn’t acting boorishly, like Cuan, but I had my own walls up.

I forced myself to show my relief at having Stefan by my side. “You’ve been the perfect companion to have with me in all of this.”

Stefan looked away, some of his black hair falling into his face. It was starting to get long, and I wondered if he had decided whether to cut it or not. “I’m a poor stand in for Hashir. It’s because of me that he’s having to stay on the sidelines.”

I took Stefan’s hand. “Hashir and I have talked about it several times. And he’s made the best of it, letting you take the attention so he can investigate.”

Stefan closed his other hand over mine, and warmth spread through me. It wasn’t the spark of heat like with Cuan, but it was steady and constant like the sun. “I would never want to do anything to come between you two.”

“You haven’t.” I squeezed his hands. “I need you by my side as much as I need Hashir.”

I swallowed, not meaning to be that blunt, but once the words were spoken, I didn’t regret it.

Stefan’s cheeks colored. “You’re stuck with me. You need to bond the Shrine, it’s okay, I understand—”

I leaned forward and kissed him. Maybe my actions would make him understand more than my words.

He made a muffled sound of surprise, and then both his hands came up to cup my face. I sighed into the touch, letting myself get lost in the feel of his mouth on mine. He was gentle, his lips feather-light on mine, and he tasted like honey. That crisp lemon scent filled me, making me feel like the room was filled with joy and sunlight.

Warmth radiated from his mouth, spiraling inside me, even reaching the deepest parts of my grief. Kissing him didn’t feel like betrayal, no more than it did with Hashir or Aki.

It struck me that my pack would have approved of all three of them. I had nothing to apologize for.

Maybe if I reminded myself enough, I would really, truly believe it. Deep down in my soul, where the heart of my grief thrived.

Stefan’s hands slid behind my neck, fingers lacing through my hair. My sensitive skin prickled. For long moments it was his mouth on mine, the scent of his lemon and freshly washed cotton surrounding me.

I trailed my hands through his hair, feeling the soft silk against my skin. Heat soared in my chest, filling my lungs, until I needed more. I licked my tongue out, tracing the line of his lips.

He opened his mouth hungrily, and I slid my tongue inside with a moan.

Usually, the man was more aggressive. I liked it when Hashir or Aki had their way with me, but this was sweet and sexy too. Stefan twisted his tongue along mine, deepening the honey taste. His hands wove through my hair, tilting the back of my head, and deepening the kiss.

It was like death and rebirth, finding myself in another person. I whimpered, wanting more, more, more. The omega in me wanted the deepest connection, every scrap of a bond I could muster. I ran my hands down his chest, loving how firm and slender he was. He was lean like Aki, but more delicate. I slid my hands inside his robes, rubbing the soft skin over his collarbones.

Stefan grunted, his tongue curling around mine with more heat, more intensity. He mirrored my movements, running his hands down to the top of my chest, and sliding the tips of his fingers into my robes.

Desire quickened, knowing he would mirror my movements. I touched down to his chest, feeling his heart pound against my hands, the lithe firmness.

Shuddering, he matched me, slowly moving his hands inside my robes and down to my breasts.

I whined, breaking from the kiss. “Stefan.” The room spun around me, as he gently cupped my breasts, letting out a groan.

“Oh, by the sun and waves.” Stefan’s hands were a glory on me, rubbing his thumbs over my nipples.

I pulled him into a fierce kiss, needing his taste again. The warmth was an inferno now, and I craved him like my next drink of water. I climbed onto his lap, straddling his waist, and grinding down into his pelvis.

Stefan threw his head back and moaned, grinding back up into me before freezing. “Nova, no, wait, wait.”

I paused, hands on his shoulders. He’d gone from bliss to pure panic.

He scooted away, pushing me back onto the couch. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I can’t…not yet.”

“I’m sorry.” I took in a deep, calming breath. My libido still crashed like a wave inside me, demanding I feel his cock thrusting inside me, and now. “I didn’t mean to push.”

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