Page 24 of Shrine of Fire

I stared morosely at my reflection in the mirror. How had I managed to mess my life up so badly?

I wanted to lay all the blame on my father. He was certainly responsible for some of it. But then, as I went over each choice I’d made, I didn’t see where I could have done anything differently.

I was now dressed in the finery that the Crown Prince traditionally wore for the Engagement Ball. It had been a few days since we’d returned from the Shrine of Everlasting Fire, and they had flown by in our attempts to covertly research spirit magic.

Tonight, Father would tell us who he expected us to take into the Royal Pack, but not before he had spent time with the ton of royals and important people he’d invited to the ball on the off chance that someone had come up in the world enough for him to take notice of them and include them on his list. I still had to find a way to make sure that the places we needed to visit were also included, along with Father’s selections.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. We had more important things to worry about than political maneuvers, but Hashir was right. Using the Royal Tour was the perfect excuse to travel the world without causing suspicion. It also got Nova away from the political scheming.

Father would announce the tour this evening, and the royal suitors would bring forth their gifts. All of them would be betas, of course.

There could only be one alpha in the Royal Pack.

That was supposed to be the Crown Prince, who was now me. I touched my amulet. I’d worn it since I was eighteen, in a desperate move to avoid an untimely “accident”. Gelda, my nursemaid and the closest thing I had to a mother, had handed it to me the night before my eighteenth birthday celebration.

That night, I still hadn’t changed from beta to alpha. Nikki had changed his designation to alpha when he was fifteen, putting me three years behind him. The common thought was that once you came of age, that was it. It was rare for someone to change their designation much later in life than that.

Father had always acted like I would be an alpha. In his mind, it was unthinkable for one of the princes to become anything but. He reminded me, often, how I killed my mother in childbirth, but there was always a grudging comment about at least there was another male alpha born to him before Mother died.

But as the years passed, and I remained a beta, the dark muttering began. No son of mine, Father would say, his brown nearly black eyes squinting, will be a beta.

Of course, I then went off to do the manliest things I could think of. I practiced wielding swords until my hands bled and body ached. I learned to sail, and chart courses across the Broken Sea by reading the stars, something only the kings of old could do.

As I got older, I flirted with every pretty woman, dragging them into alcoves for stolen kisses. I never did more than kiss and touch, but I made a great show of being a lady’s man.

All these activities seemed to subdue him, at least until I got another year older, reminding him that I was still only a beta. During my seventeenth year, his dark mutterings grew louder. Father made frequent comments about me disappointing the royal line. About the murder of my mother. And no matter what Nikki did to distract him, he wasn’t appeased.

When Gelda came to wish me luck for my birthday, she had handed me an amulet, and when she explained what it was, my shame mingled with relief.

“Take it!” she had whispered. “Put it on and tell no one, not even your brother. For his own protection.”

The amulet buzzed in my hands. I looped it around my neck, and felt no different, but Gelda looked satisfied.

“Now you scent like an alpha.”

“But I don’t have…” I blushed. “My body is the same.”

“There is no magic, black or white, that will change your body.” Gelda shook her head, and I was moved that she’d looked so hard. “But this will give you time. To marry a faraway princess. To get away before your father arranges an accident.”

I hadn’t wanted to believe that, if it came to it, my father would go through with such a thing. I was eighteen, yes, but people could switch designations as late as twenty sometimes.

I could wear it until I switched, and everything would be fine.

I didn’t have another choice. Not unless I wanted to worry about every boat trip, every night spent alone.

I thanked Gelda, tucked the amulet under my shirt and made my choice. I didn’t tell anyone, and when my celebration came, Father looked happy for once in my life.

Marrying someone away from the Islands wasn’t in my plans. Nikki would ascend the Throne, and he needed me to be there to protect him. I needed to be there to make sure the Lord Chancellor Baylin wasn’t scheming to bring Nikki down, among the countless courtiers.

Years passed. I couldn’t trust anyone with my secret, and so I stayed chaste, apart from some touching and kissing.

And then, everything changed when Nikki fell in love with Zara and abdicated from the throne. Now I was the Crown Prince.

But I was a fraud. I wasn’t an alpha. I couldn’t be what Nova needed, even though I burned to touch her. I couldn’t let her know, even though I wanted to. It would be too dangerous for both of us.

Nova said we would stay engaged, but this situation was only ever going to end with me saying goodbye. I couldn’t knot and bond her. She couldn’t keep Hashir in her pack if we married, and they clearly loved each other. Another alpha on the side was one thing, but Father wouldn’t tolerate another alpha in the Royal Pack.

Not when I was supposed to be the only one who could knot and bond the omega. It was an old belief, that only an alpha could get an omega pregnant, but another alpha in the pack would cause the legitimacy of our children to be questioned.

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