Page 119 of Shrine of Fire

How like Hashir to want everyone to have matching bondmarks, to remind us that, no matter how different we were, we were all connected.

I winced, bracing myself against an onslaught of feelings.

“Relax.” Hashir licked the bondmark, and I shuddered. The feeling went straight to my cock, and I groaned. Warm heat curled through me like molten silver, and I reached out, and found…everyone.

Hashir’s love and affection snapped into place first, the bond of friendship and trust, and then Stefan was there, tentative and soft but strong, and then Cuan’s bright energy. And finally, Nova was at the center of the threads wrapping around me. I’d worried it would suffocate me, but it was loose and light.

I let myself go into the packbonds just in time for Nova to scream.

When I opened my eyes, I was standing on the deck of our ship. But it was empty, save for a figure huddled at the prow. I ran over to her, knowing who it was. I would recognize Nova from any distance.

She was kneeling, crying into her hands, her black hair streaming around her face, and her resemblance to Hella Mora in that moment was uncanny.

No wonder the spirit had such a hold on my love. She knew exactly where to get Nova where it hurt the most.

Righteous fury burned. How dare that spirit use Nova’s worst grief against her? I looked around for Hella Mora as I closed the distance between me and Nova, but the spirit was nowhere in sight.

“Nova? Nova darling?” I touched her shoulder. My beloved didn’t stop crying, didn’t seem to notice me. “You’re in the spirit world.”

I didn’t see Kalahar, so perhaps he was dealing with the spirit.

“Honey, it’s time to come home.”

Nova looked up at me, her face filled with misery. “I can’t ever go home again. I can’t go back.”

I knelt. “Hella Mora is making you suffer.”

She shook her head. “Hella Mora is right. It’s so hard, pretending I’m not dying inside. Wouldn’t it be better if we could be true to our grief?”

“We can.” I put both hands on her shoulders. She was ice cold. I tried to pull her closer to me, but it was like trying to move a rock. “Nova, if you want to cry every day, you’re allowed.”

“I’m not.” She sniffled, her face etched in grief. “I’ll hurt you. Make you feel like you’re not enough, that I wish you were my old pack instead. I can’t win.”

“Oh honey.” I pulled her close, and this time, I felt invisible threads that were woven around her, holding her in place.

It wasn’t spirit magic, not exactly. It was Nova’s own pain and misery. It was a clever trick, but then I was a master spinner. I ran my hands down Nova’s sides, feeling the bond with Hashir buoy me up. “Did you think we expected you to forget them?”

“No.” She gestured behind her, at the empty air. “But sometimes I want to, to escape the pain. They haunt me.”

“Let me see them. Meet them.” I kept moving my hands over her sides, trying to warm her up, trying to brush the strings of grief off like cobwebs.

Slowly, three shadowy figures came into view. Three men as Nova had described them before.

“What’s your favorite memory?” Stefan’s bond pushed through me, and I reached out for it like the lifeline it was. I didn’t realize how tiring it would be to be in the spirit world. My hands slowed, and I had to push harder to make the smallest movements.

“It wasn’t anything special.” Nova looked at her pack. They remained like ghosts, bleeding from silent wounds and looking mournful. “A perfect day. Walking through the woods, making jokes. Coming home and cooking and later, making love.”

Nova’s tears started fresh. “I miss them. I miss them so much.”

More threads snapped into place around her.

I searched for the words to help her. To make her see that she was more than her grief. That I loved her, grief and all. I took her hands in mine and looked at her.

I put every ounce of love I had for her into that gaze. “Nova. It’s time to come home. We can grieve for them together. But it’s not safe to remain here.”

“Here is the only real place.” Color drained from her face, and she looked so much like a ghost that it scared me. I felt a reverberation through the packbonds.

“Your pack needs you.Ineed you.”

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