Page 8 of Break

Actually, it’s been gone for a while, considering all her damn posts are of other people and not her. Or, if she is in it, she’s so far away, or in the back of the group photo, that I can’t get a good look at her. It drives me nuts.

And Kerr and I have been so rocky lately, I’m scared that the one night with Nicole has destroyed us. I can feel him pulling away from me more and more, and I’m doing the same. It’s not that I don’t love him, because fuck yeah, I do. It’s just that I can’t bear the thought of not being enough for him. And I know he’s not enough for me.

Christ, I’m an asshole.

It’s just that a person can’t thrive off tiny bites of food every day. They need whole, well-balanced meals.

Landon and I are not well-balanced and never truly have been.

“What’s up with you two?” Leah asks, breaking me away from my thoughts.

“Long night and an early flight,” Kerrington says with a tired smile. “We’re beat.”

“You look it,” Mason teases.

Flipping him the bird, I walk over and give him a hug. “It’s good to see you, man.”

We all climb into Mason’s car and Leah buckles up first. “You guys hungry?”

“Starved,” I say from the backseat.

Kerrington groans, dramatically. “Step on it, Mase. None of us can survive a hangry Landon.”

So true.

Leah looks back and waggles her eyebrows at me. “There’s a new place I’ve been dying to try that apparently makes the best, fattest, juiciest burgers. Wanna go there?”

“As if you have to ask?”

I place my hand over Kerrington’s and sigh heavily.

I’m tired. Frustrated. And also relieved. The mix of emotions only makes me want to eat my feelings, so a big ass burger sounds perfect.

•••

After devouring a meal that could feed a family of five, I’m feeling way better. We can’t check into our hotel for another couple of hours, so we’re heading to Mason’s place.

“I don’t know why you two don’t just stay with us,” Leah pouts.

I grin like a devil. “You don’t?” We climb out of the car, and I whisper in her ear, “We break headboards, baby. I’m not about to smash up your furniture on night one.”

She howls with laughter and high fives me.

Gage, Mason, and Leah all know Kerrington and I are a thing. We fucked around a bit in college and had some occasional fun after we got BanditFx going. Long nights in the office were perfect for us to slam together and get our pent-up energy out. We finally took things to the nextlevel and moved in together two years ago. Even though we have separate bedrooms, I’m usually in his bed every night, anyway.

We’ve occasionally invited others to join us. Always a woman. Nicole was the last one and honestly, I don’t think I can move past it.

She was the perfect fit for us.

Kerrington isn’t a switch like me, and he understands the importance of needing a sub because he has me to fill that role for him. Which means he might also understand, especially after that incredible night with Nicole, that I need the same fucking thing, although I haven’t admitted that part out loud. I thought maybe it was a blip. A little itch I could scratch to get it out of my system.

Nicole isnota woman you get out of your system. And the desire to get back what I had that night isn’t something I can turn off. Not easily, at least.

Mason hooks his arm around Leah’s waist and escorts her inside. Kerr and I follow.

“What do you guys want to do today?” I ask, eager to have some fun. See? I’m such a happy boy after I’ve eaten. “Movies? Shopping? Board game? Ohhh Monopoly?”

“You’re not allowed to play Monopoly,” Kerrington reminds me with a sharp tone. “Remember the snowstorm blood bath from four years ago?”

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