Page 31 of Mr. Kelly

“You were willing to part with our child so I could have it?”

I nod sadly. It would hurt like hell to walk away. “I know you wanted more than anything to be a father. And with this kind of adoption, the adoptive parents can choose to allow the biological mother to see the child, or at least provide updates on the baby's life.”

Theodore collects my tear with his thumb, and I look on, surprised that I'm crying.

“Good. I was starting to question my taste in women,” he jokes. He sobers quickly to address the rest. “I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t rob you of a chance to be with the baby. I would’ve admitted to paternity and made it clear I planned to see my child often. I’d rather be a single asshole than give the illusion of a happily married man. I used to be happily married, but her lies are exhausting.” He closes his eyes for a second, then focuses on me. “River, I know there have been many married men who have lied about the same thing, but I filed for divorce. Like I said, I’m not built for a double life and there is nothing holding me to Helena.”

He holds up a finger before I respond. Hope floods me, along with the emotions from what he said. I don’t have to choose between us for the baby. He or she can have both of us. Theodorereaches for his phone and turns it on. Once it boots, he ignores the notifications as he looks for whatever he realized he needed at this moment.

He turns his screen to me. There’s a conversation stream between him and his lawyer, going over details of the divorce. He scrolls up and points at the original email.

“Look at the date.”

“Four months ago,” I say it out loud so he knows I get it.

“Yes. I filed for divorce two days before your attack. We just had fucked-up timing for Helena to ruin the next morning. I was still with her after she begged, only because she said she was barren. I didn’t want to look like the guy who didn’t give a damn because my whole world used to revolve around her.” A call comes in, and her name flashes on the screen. Theodore sighs and turns the phone back off. I feel his next words in my bones. “I’m tired, River. I can’t do that any longer.”

My heart goes out to him, and I pull him into a hug. He kisses my wrist as I hold him close.

“So rest, baby.”

I can feel his smile on my skin. “We need patience moving forward. We collided at the end of shitty relationships. It’s not realistic to expect a smooth transition.”

He’s right and, honestly, it was one of my concerns. “Of course. We have time to get some things right before the baby arrives.”

I’m not surprised that he’s touching my belly again. “I can’t wait to feel the baby move.” The wistfulness in his voice tugs on my emotions some more.

“Same. For now, let’s pick an OBGYN and schedule an ultrasound.” I snap my fingers. “That reminds me. I have images from the last one.”

He sits up and turns on the lamp. Theodore’s eyes don’t leave my body the entire time I move around the room. I open myluggage and pull out an envelope from one of the pockets. I’m back on the bed in seconds, and I rest on my haunches, watching him as he opens the envelope.

I’d take a picture if I didn’t feel like it was an invasion of his privacy. The look of wonder and love on his face makes my heart swell. Even if we’re not meant to be, I’d love to co-parent with him, knowing how much he’s going to love his child.

Theodore swallows some of his emotions as he traces his finger over the outline of the baby. It makes me think of the things I can’t wait to see like his reaction to seeing the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat. The next one will tell us the gender since I’ll be eighteen weeks pregnant. I also can’t wait to see him holding our child. I’m more than eager to meet my little passenger and I’m not halfway done yet.

“Perfect,” he whispers in awe.

I see everything he’s feeling when he looks at me, and I’m honored that despite the bullshit, he’s still open enough with me to be vulnerable. He folds the strip of pictures and carefully puts them back in the envelope. Trading the envelope for the remote, he turns off the television.

“Come here,” he beckons me as he turns off the light.

This time, it’s not about sex. He’s not turned on like it was when he saw my belly. He’s excited and in awe of what he’s just seen. Theodore pulls me close and spoons me from behind. We lie naked in the dark with his hands splaying possessively over my tummy.

“Oh, River,” he breathes. “I’m so in love.”

My heart flutters, but I know he’s referring to our child. Theodore needs time to heal before he can feel that way about another woman.

Chapter Sixteen

THEODORE

I stand outsideof my house, looking at it with a strange mix of sadness and apathy. The place that I'd once considered home now just looks like some piece of my history I no longer wish to revisit.

I remember when I bought it. I'd been excited to start the next part of my life. I'd brought Helena here on a date. The house was empty except for a table, two chairs, and a catered meal from her favorite restaurant.

We'd talked about the future, and I'd proposed by the end of dinner. We'd made love on the floor and planned how to fill the space with love and memories after. The once sweet memory makes me sick to my stomach, because it was a lie. This was never meant to be my forever home.

That's why I'm leaving it to her, along with her car. I don’t want anything from Helena beyond my freedom.

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