Page 98 of Teasing

“She died nearly five months ago.”

Maverick takes my hand in his and holds it tightly, giving me his strength and a little hope.

“I was supposed to see Dad that day but woke up with a headache.” I shake my head, remembering that morning. It wasn’t even that bad, but I was tired, and my head hurt, and she offered... “So Vivi went instead. She decided to take him out for lunch and even FaceTimed with Camden because Dad was having such a great day. Then...” My words get stuck in my throat on a sob.

“Fuck... Em.” He moves the box between us off the couch and pulls me against him.

“Don’t,” I warn him. “If I don’t get this out now, I might not ever get it out.” I reach over to the table and pull out one of the scrapbooks from the bottom of the pile and tug out the newspaper article I stuffed in there months ago. A picture of her crumpled convertible is on the front page. “We don’t know why Dad was driving... but he was, and he hit a tree. Vivi was thrown from the car. They told us she died on impact.”

“Jesus, Emmie.” He pulls me onto his lap and cradles my face in his hands. “I’m so fucking sorry. That’s awful. I can’t— I mean, I know what Ryker’s accident felt like, and we still had Ryker after that. I can’t even fucking fathom the pain you all must have been in.”

“That makes it sound like we’ve all dealt with it and moved on. We haven’t. Most days, Dad doesn’t remember, which is a blessing. But on bad days... On bad days, he does. On bad days, he knows exactly what happened, and it’s a pain I can’t even imagine. It’s like he’s reliving killing his own daughter, and he begs them to let him die.”

The pressure in my chest grows until I feel like it’s going to rip open and expose every corner of my soul.

“Camden blames himself for not being here. For not taking care of her. I think he blames me too. Not that I blame him. I’ll always know if I’d have gone that day instead of her that she’d still be alive.” I rest my head against Maverick’s shoulder, unable to bring myself to look into his eyes. “It’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.”

This man doesn’t try to tell me it’s okay—because he knows it isn’t.

He doesn’t try to convince me it isn’t my fault, because we both know that deep down. But there will always be a piece of me that will know I could have gone that day and things could have been different.

Saying those things would have been the easy out.

But Maverick never takes the easy way.

He presses his lips to my head and holds them there. “I love you, Em. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but I’m so goddamned glad it wasn’t you. And I’m betting she was too.”

I know he’s right but it doesn’t make it any easier and makes my next words that much harder.

“Vivi started theKroydon Kronicles.She was in school, working on a degree in journalism, and we needed money. Camden hadn’t been drafted yet, and thePhilly Pressoffered her more money than she used to make in a week for her first article. And so, theKroydon Kronicleswas born.” I turn to facehim. “You’ve got to understand. She wasn’t a bad person. She did what she had to do for us.”

He frames my face with his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me, Em?”

“Because most days, I don’t want to admit to myself that she’s gone. The idea of admitting it to you hurt too much, Mav.”

His thumb brushes away a stray tear.

“She and Camden were all I ever had, and things with Cam have been strained since she died. She was the glue that held us together,” I admit, laying it all out there for him. No turning back now. “We’re not like you guys. It’s just us. Until he came home, I felt so alone. The first time Rosie hugged me had been the first time I’d been hugged in months.”

I don’t look into his eyes because I can’t bear to see the pity I fear is going to be staring back at me.

“You’re never going to be alone again, Em.Iwill never let you feel alone. You are my world, baby. You and Rosie. We’re your family. And Camden and Ryker and Jamie. We all love you.” He lifts my chin until I give him my eyes. “I will love you every day for the rest of this life, and then, I’ll find you in the next and love you again.”

“Maverick,” I cry. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I swear if I forget everything in my life, I’ll never forget you and the way I love you.” I turn my face into his hand and close my eyes.

Mav pulls me forward and presses his lips to mine. “I’m yours, Em. Today. Tomorrow. Fifty years from now. I’m not going to let you forget anything. I’m going to give you a life so full, it’ll fill every scrapbook you can find. You’re going to fill it with pictures of our family and the adventures we take. You like to say life is too short... well, we’re going to fill every day of it. I promise you.”

“Can you please forgive me?” I beg, wanting so badly to cling to the beautiful picture he just painted.

“There’s nothing to forgive. We’re just navigating life, and sometimes, that’s fun and great and easy, and sometimes, it fucking sucks and hurts like a bitch. But we’re going to do it together, right?”

“No leaving?” I whisper against his lips.

“You’re never getting rid of me, baby.” A ridiculously loud snore comes from the sleeping puppy under the couch. “Sounds like Butters is playing for keeps too.”

“How do you say forever in Italian?” I ask quietly.

“Per sempre,” he tells me as I cling to him.

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